HARROWING SCREWBALL COMEDY

COUNTRY

2011-07-20T19:24:00.003+01:00

Once again I've neglected this blog. One reason is because I've recently got really into NBA basketball, despite the season just ending and the next one in jeopardy and I've been spending a lot of time reading about it and playing NBA2K11. Pathetic I know.

I might try a bit harder to update.

2011-06-13T22:48:00.002+01:00

Phrases from How I Met Your Mother which are awesome:

Awesome

Suit Up!

A gentleman's agreement

Legen - wait for it - dary

Challenge accepted

Phrases from How I Met Your Mother which are not awesome:

Lawyered

2011-06-13T11:08:00.002+01:00

I am a big fan of football, and this has increased since working on it. There are many minutes of downtime and although the internet is my oyster at this time, I tend to veer towards football sites as it doesn't look too untoward doing that when working on England and Manchester United.

Here is my assessment on the forthcoming season (this should really happen at the end of July but it's interesting to do it before the transfers start)

Arsenal: I like Arsenal, in particular Theo Walcott and Jack Wilshere (please stay out of trouble). They need a centre back and for Fabregas to both stay and want to stay. If not, promote Aaron Ramsey and get a cheap midfielder as back up. They should probably buy a £20m striker too.

Aston Villa: It go to shit this year. Ashley Young is going, Stuart Downing wants to go and Darren Bent won't be too happy if they both leave. Hiring Alex McLeish will be a mistake. The fans should have shut up and let them hire Steve McLaren. I think he's alright.

Blackburn: Going down. Steve Kean will last about 6 games tops. They'll need to ditch him before the transfer window shuts.

Bolton: If they don't get Daniel Sturridge back they might struggle. Kevin Davies is aging and Gary Cahill should go to Arsenal if he knows what's good for him.

Chelsea: They'll do well if they get Hiddink. I really want Torres to come good. Get rid of Drogba but he is their best players. Not sure Neymar will really help. They need to look at bargains in the Rafael Van der Vaart vein.

Everton: Same old, finish about 8th. Moyes needs to kick around so he can become Man Utd manager in few years.

Fulham: Martin Jol is alright. I like Bobby Zamora and Clint Dempsey. I like Fulham. Here's hoping they do ok.

Liverpool: Could be a 4th place push this year. Carroll is great as is Suarez. Keep them fit and with Gerrard returning could be a big season. They need a centre back though.

Man City: If Tevez goes they could be screwed. Adebayor coming back might be ok but Tevez runs that club. He's a selfish player but he's amazing. I don't tip them for greatness this season but they will be a better unit than last season. I hope Balotelli comes good. We need players like that.

Man Utd: Booo! Stopped having any feelings for them since the Wayne Rooney debacle of last year, and don't get me started on Ryan Giggs. They need a central midfield quick smart and to start winding Rio Ferdinand down.

Newcastle: They'll need to spend that Carroll money wisely.

Norwich: Probably going down but we'll see what they bring. Don't really know anything about them.

QPR: The team to watch, on and off the pitch. Expect some marquee signings (probably the +30s) and Warnock to not last until Christmas. I hope they stay up and do well.

Stoke: Same old but Might have to stop relying on Delap as he's about 50.

Sunderland: It will be good if they get that Man Utd trio of Brown, O'Shea and Gibson. Gibson might come good in the hole left by Henderson. He's not United quality but he's better than a lot of the exits in previous years, namely Jonathan Greening.

Swansea: Who knows. Apparently they play quick attacking football.

Spurs: Might have to get a striker and ditch Crouch. Pavluychenko has shown he's the best striker there but you can't rely on Van der Vaart. And for god's sake, play Kyle Walker instead of Assou-Ekkoto, possibly the worst full back in the league.

WBA: Woy's steadied the ship. Good on him. Here's hope they stay up.

Wigan: Martinez may regret his decision. He'll get money from N'Zogbia but another dogfight is on the cards.

Wolves: Surely going down.

2011-06-10T19:24:00.003+01:00

Today I finished my latest work stint. During the week I learned about who the captains of four international cricket teams are and wrote a brief history on the hat-trick in one-day international cricket.

As I was leaving I was given by the editor, Colin; a man whose face resembled that of Bret Mackenzie and wore his bald head with the most panache I have ever seen. He told me that NFL was his favourite thing in the world, and I respected him for that.

The pretty Canadian girl, who is always impeccably well dressed, was not so well dressed today. Her outfits are amazing and puts any woman who wears jeans and a top to shame. I feel as though I should dress up more myself.

2011-06-08T22:08:00.002+01:00

'Discovered' the new Eisley album. It goes into the new playlist alongside City & Colour.

After three days working on the cricket programmes, I might be actually alright at what I'm doing at the moment. Add that to being asked back to FA and a good 8 weeks work set up, I might actually have found myself a new career. Whoopdedoop.

Had a dream with JS in it. I was a writer (am I?) and had to do a feature in The Sunday Times style section about her. She was some sort of domestic goddess and was being photographed in a kitchen but I was told she categorically had to wear yellow and it had to be in the pictures. We put her in a yellow 50s style dress and she posed a lot. Then I woke up.

2011-06-05T18:53:00.002+01:00

Went to the England game yesterday courtesy of PF. Took TM and I think he enjoyed it. England looked knackered. I would say to ditch the two centre-backs, especially Ferdinand, but there isn't anyone strong enough to go in there who you wouldn't think would be always liable to make a mistake. Ferdinand, Lampard and Gerrard will probably all retire after Euro 2012 so we might as well let them play on.

I like the Coldplay single, although I know they are capable of so much more. It's a bit Strawberry Swing, which was my least favourite song off the last album.

Haven't used my cheese grater yet.

2011-06-01T09:11:00.002+01:00

I've awoken this morning very excited about things.

I'm excited about not working for the rest of this week.

I'm excited about the new Coldplay single.

I'm excited about my new cheese grater.

I'm excited about seeing Jerry Seinfeld on Friday.

I'm excited about seeing X Men First Class tomorrow.

I'm excited about being single.

I'm excited about getting back to my book.

I'm excited about buying some new clothes.

I'm excited about finding out which Olympic tickets I got.

Pic from Ira

2011-05-25T21:08:00.002+01:00

Can't even remember where I got up to.

Had a great Quaite session on Sunday. A whole script edited and recorded with zero fuss. Just took about 5 hours that's all. Now we see what OR comes up with on the edit. It will be great to see/hear a rough cut.

Got some fortuitous work yesterday. Going to be at Four Four Two magazine for three weeks. JK said to try and get more week for the time in between but I'm looking forward to the time off.

I found out the Jim Fletcher died this morning. Very sad. DR sounded pretty heartbroken as you can imagine. I will be seeing him on Saturday.

2011-05-20T19:00:00.002+01:00

I've had a weird feeling in my right ear since Sunday. I thought it was an infection but I went to the doctor yesterday and he said it was bunged up behind the ear drum. Hearing's been a bit shit all week but the Sudafed and ear drops seem to be working. If only the bloody ringing would stop. That's 20 years of gigs for you.

Speaking of gigs, went to see Grant Lee Buffalo on Wednesday. Not nearly busy as it should have been. After a slow start, they played a good set culled mainly from the first two albums. I would have loved it if one of the lesser songs was the killer but hands down it was Fuzzy.

I did next to no work today. One spread about the Under 21 Euros and wrote an opener for the Man Utd yearbook. Other than that, just sitting around looking at the internet. Don't tell anyone.

Another Friday in but the weekend looks quite busy so I'm not that bothered. And my ear is still giving me jip.

Moan moan moan.

2011-05-17T18:59:00.002+01:00

Went to see the Uncaged Monkeys lecture show last night courtesy of AM. It was almost ruined by the nerd behind us trying to preempt everything that Brian Cox said but thankfully I resisted the opportunity to politely lambast him. If I had it could've ended up with one of two scenarios. Firstly he could have talked back to me and created a scene or, more likely, secondly I could have ruined his evening as he went inside himself. As he was having such a good time I didn't want to ruin his evening.

Anyway, the highlights of the evening were Brian Cox telling us about his favourite photographs, including the Pale Blue Dot and Ben Goldacre being angry.

2011-05-15T13:37:00.002+01:00

Got pretty drunk last night - so much so that I have no recollection of how I got home. I must have had enough of my wits to have got to the station and got on the train. I do remember watching the TV when I was home. Strange. Let's just hope I didn't do anything to upset anyone.

Got a haircut yesterday too, and a damn fine one at that. Well done Jeffrey's of Brentford.

In football news I was glad that Man City won the FA Cup, but it was far from a classic final. The bottom of the Premier League is pretty interesting. West Ham could go down today. They need to win but I'd like to see their good players move to bigger clubs. I still want Blackburn to go down but I don't see it happening.

2011-05-13T19:37:00.002+01:00

Got paid yesterday which is good but it's not like I was desperate for the money. That said, being that much better off is better than not.

I finished Bird Song. It was good, great in places but the whole 1978 bit was only there to tell us that Stephen ended up marrying Jeanne. Just another way of putting in the post script. I didn't care for the 1970s woman. Why would I? I have now started Ordinary Thunderstorms by William Boyd. Started well and the first page made me jump out of bed to write something down as a note for my second novel - need to finish the first one though.

I jumped back into MSF too. It may just be a reaction to getting dumped but who knows if it will lead anywhere. Despite the amount of women on there I don't actually find that many attractive. But let's face facts, how else am I really going to find someone.

Another Friday night in. Life used to be a lot more dynamic.

2011-05-11T22:51:00.003+01:00

This morning at work had very little banter and then this afternoon was laugh aplenty.

On the way home I say adult geese standing watch over their baby geese (goslings?). Nature at work.

The Apprentice was equally as funny as the night before. Not sure why AM is adamantly against it, it's entertainment. They aren't as stupid as that even though they are all wankers. it's cut to make them look as poor as possible.

Been reading the RHCP book I got for my birthday. Interesting to hear Frusciante's side of the story, and it's got me listening to the Peppers again.

2011-05-10T21:07:00.003+01:00

Today I received a receipt, sort of, saying that I have been/will be paid soon. I also have the details for the next two invoices, so I should be in the money soon. Just need to find some more work now.

As soon as I've written this I will watch The Apprentice. I watch it for the wanker competition that it is. You may think these people only exist on the programme, but there are at least two working opposite me.

I decided last night that I'm through with Glee. I was going off it anyway but I sort of stuck with it this year so I had something in common with LP. Now that's over I have no need for it. Might not bother watching The Event too, but Downton Abbey will be watched when it comes back.

I thought my amp had blown last night. I put the mini jack into the computer and there was a bang, then every time I tried to turn the amp on there was a pop. Luckily I unhooked the speakers and then turned it on this morning and it was fine.

2011-05-09T22:16:00.004+01:00

It really shouldn't hurt to write a couple of lines about what I've been doing. It's of no interest to anyone, but if machines really are going to take over the world then it's the same as keeping a diary.

I thought work would be slow today but I ended up finishing the report of the England - Ghana game, the blurb about Holland and the report of the England U21 - Iceland game, despite only watching the highlights. Sshh.

I haven't been paid yet for the first month so I sent an email about all that. I need to do a new invoice too.

Music-wise I can't stop listening to both Young The Giant and We Are The Ocean. Best two albums I've heard so far this year. Still reading Bird Song by Sebastian Faulks.

The above photo was found on Tumblr. It's Bill Cosby looking pretty cool.

ROCK OF AGES

2011-01-07T14:06:00.002Z

I just bought tickets to the Grant Lee Buffalo reunion tour. It was meant to be happening next week but old Grant tore and achilles or something and it's been put back to May. How did I not know about this sooner? I have to say I haven't been excited about a band reuniting since Faith No More, but that was tarnished a little by having seen them before. Only the resurrection of Shannon Hoon for a Blind melon tour could top this.

Enjoy Mockingbirds from Mighty Joe Moon, possibly their finest album.

BRAND NEW MUSIC

2011-01-06T21:02:00.002Z

I tried to make some music discoveries at the end of last year by visiting the best of the year pages on Absolutepunk and Punknews. Punknews proved a bit disappointing, serving up gravelly voiced pop punk which at best was not as good as Hot Water Music and at worst a bad Paddingtons.

Absolutepunk didn't give me much I hadn't heard of, unlike last year when I got P.O.S. and The Dangerous Summer, but it did throw up The Republic Of Wolves, a Brand New-alike band from Long Island. The songs Greek Fire and Oarsmen are amazing and worthy of anyone's attention.

TAKING IT TO THE STREETS

2011-01-04T17:14:00.003Z

Right, I'm bringing this blog back. Random links and videos that cross my path.

Let's start with the latest Funeral Party video. I might have to start spending my winters in Los Angeles.

LOOKING BACK OVER MY SHOULDER

2010-06-30T09:32:00.002+01:00

Well, tour is over, England are out and Pearl Jam have been and gone. So what is there to look forward to?

Not having a job I have to find things to fill my time, although finding a job should be up there near the top. I am attempting to get the George and Lynne book published, albeit with a great deal of procrastination, but here are some things which make life pretty cool.

Red Dead Redemption - How brilliant is this game? I'll tell you: bribrilliant. You ride around on a horse and help or shoot people depending on your mood, and you try and kill your old mate too.

Alex's wedding and stag do - There are a lot of weddings to go to when you hit your 30s but it's rare that one of your really close friends has one, so that should be a hoot.

New albums from Tool and My Chemical Romance - Who knows when these will come out but I'm looking forward to them. Who knows what's happening with MCR though. The album was meant to be out by now but they've sacked the drummer and gone back to the studio. This can only mean that the record company didn't like what they were given and asked them to do it again. Why couldn't they do that with football? - sorry England that wasn't good enough, go and do it again. This leads me to believe that this World Cup was the football equivalent of England's experimental album. They released a host of singles before the World Cup with a new producer, but inexplicably none of these appeared on the album. Instead the album was 70 minutes of drone rock, akin to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, and featured no guitar (Wayne Rooney). The fans were confused and didn't buy the record. it sold very poorly and the record company were not happy. They blamed the producer but he was locked out of the final recording sessions. He insists they have loads of hits in them and will release a pop album next time.

Predators - Woah!

WORLDWIDE TOUR OF FINLAND

2010-06-16T18:20:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow I will be embarking on tour.

This is not a football tour when you go to one place with 13 other men and drink. No, this is a proper tour. I will be driving the great Jeff Klein on his UK tour on these dates:

Thur 17 UK, Bath Moles
Sun 20 UK, Brighton Freebutt
Mon 21 UK, London Borderline
Tues 22 UK, Newcastle Cluny
Wed 23 UK, Sheffield The Forum

Whoever booked Newcastle the day after London didn't know me, or didn't like me. The free dates are being spent at my house, so not that rock 'n' roll. I did vote for extra nights in Bath and Brighton, but I'm not paying for this so I don't get a say.

What else will I do? Well there should be some free time in Bath, Brighton and Sheffield so I get to see those cities. I will probably be asked to man the merch stall, and maybe there will be some drinks. But who knows. I look forward to fun, easy going company and mournful songs.

I will take my camera, and my polaroid if the film hasn't disintegrated, and hopefully there should be some fun snaps to be had.

I'M AFRAID OF EVERYONE

2010-06-01T11:11:00.002+01:00

Fears and being British combine in the most irritating of ways.

I have a moderate fear of using the phone. It's not to do with germs or technology, more to do with low self confidence that I believe whoever I phone won't actually want to talk to me, but enough of that. So if you think I don't phone you because I don't want to, it's not true. I just think you don't like me.

I am British and therefore have a tendency not to complain about things unless it's really bad. I did however tell some loud men to 'lower your voices' at a comedy club. I got the phrase from The Darjeeling Limited and it worked a treat. Afterwards I didn't feel empowered though, more afraid they would be muttering rude things about me behind my back.

So let's add these two things together. I have ordered an item and it is 'lost' at the moment so I have to call the people in charge. Firstly I have to find the courage to pick up the phone, then I have to complain that my item is somewhere no one knows. The most British thing here is, at the end of it when the lady apologises for my inconvenience, I tell her it's not a problem! Of course it's a problem. I've just gone through my own personal hell to find out nothing.

I am also afraid of having my haircut and approaching women. So phoning up for hair appointments or asking women out for dates is even more painful than complaining. And believe me, I will never complain about a haircut.

P.S. The item isn't embarrassing; it's not a sex toy or anything. It's a Beatles guitar controller for my newly bought PS3. And I wonder why I'm single.

ARBEIT MACHT FREI

2010-05-25T11:33:00.002+01:00

I am currently (sort of) unemployed. I work part time from home for my old company which takes me approximately a full day a week with a spattering of email answering and fingering the pulse but apart from that I have no job.

At present my argument is that I don't need one. I get a small income from the above work, my mortgage is the lowest it can be without the bank paying me and I have a relatively healthy bank account. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle, although I have spent more money on goods and services recently than I did when I was working full time.

So in brief, I can get by without a job at the moment. I have yet to even try to find one, although I don't want a full time job right now, more like temping, so I don't know how easy/difficult it is. I fell into one job and stayed there for 8 years so I'm a bit alien to the process.

As soon as the PS3 and Beatles Rock Band arrives, it will be firmly forgotten about. Then there's the World Cup. So, shall we say mid July to start the job hunting?

Favourite songs in the world right now:

Circa Survive - Imaginary Enemy

The National - England

Funeral Party - NYC Moves To The Sound Of LA

Minus The Bear - My Time

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL (II)

2010-05-21T10:38:00.001+01:00

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL

2010-05-21T10:36:00.001+01:00

PLANES

2010-05-20T15:04:00.004+01:00

Back from holiday and I noticed one thing about people - they can be very obnoxious. Evidence of this is as follows:

A man who was amazed that his lunch in a Tunisian restaurant didn't come with a sauce, and then almost guffawed at the absurdity of being offered ketchup.

People who unbuckle their seat belt as soon as the plane has landed.

A man who decided to get on his phone before he got off the plane. Yes I know it probably does nothing to the electronics but there are rules.

I am very surprised in the new Circa Survive album, mainly because it is essentially a straight up rock record. A combination of third album maturity and a major label deal no doubt.

I CUT LIKE A BUFFALO

2010-05-10T16:04:00.002+01:00

Despite having two massive framed posters on my living room (lounge?) walls, I've never been a massive fan of The White Stripes. I love what they do, how they look and what they stand for, but as far as songs go, they aren't that great. I'll never pay to see them in concert and I haven't bought any of their albums.

However I do like Jack White. I think he's incredibly talented and it's only the White Stripes limitations that have meant that he isn't seen as one of the greatest guitarists of our generation. If the songs he produced with them were of the standard of say The Strokes or another band of that ilk, then he may be lauded more, not that he isn't lauded.

I liked The Raconteurs more than the White Stripes in terms of songs but the albums got tired more quickly than I would have liked. I especially liked the quick release of the second album. Sod it, let's not dither on an album for 4 months. It's done, it's done and no summer/autumn/winter market will make an album like that sell more or less. Get it out.

Now we have The Dead Weather, whom I now think are great. I may be an album behind but I'm right into it. They are probably the best thing that Jack White has put his name to, even though he's officially the drummer but you're trying to tell me the solo in 60 Feet Tall isn't him. Not only that but they have the wonderful Alison Mosshart. Wasted in the Kills with the toothpick shagging Jamie Hince, she gets to shine, all sultry and dirty like she should do.

In conclusion: Jack White is great but has only just found the medium to show it.

I AM EVIL

2010-05-08T20:54:00.003+01:00

What can I say about The National? The show at the Royal Albert Hall on Thursday was quite phenomenal. The way the songs built into crescendos, the instruments swelling around you. Many people complain that the Albert Hall isn't suited to rock bands but after only half a song, it was perfect. The highlight of course was Matt Berninger's walkabout during Mr November, which took him literally over our seats.

It was gig of the year and the first of the summer (Summer? The heating's on for christ's sake) which promises to be a busy June. Coming up, we have Woven Hand, Rage Against The Machine, Murder By Death, Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam with Bad Religion in August.

I found the election fascinating. It was great staying up until 4 playing email tennis with Chester commenting on everything. It would have been better if we watched it together. Who knows, there'll probably be another on in a year's time. Dimbleby was brilliant as well, commanding everyone around him. Nick Robinson may be political editor and Paxman the snarling Rottweiler, but both knelt at Dimbleby's feet.

Finally Twitter had a purpose with some funny quips from the likes of David Schneider, but unfortunately with very few followers myself, no one read my comments. I have to leave that for Facebook. And so after all that, I'm now interested in politics. I know not whether it will last, but how can you not be fascinated by it all at the moment?

WE HAVE THE FACTS AND WE'RE VOTING YES

2010-05-06T12:17:00.005+01:00

This Facebook election day is really weirding me out.

How strange it is that people are not only stating they are voting and then saying who they are voting for on Facebook. It is meant to be a secret ballot.

The most alarming thing is the amount of vitriol being thrown at various parties, and specifically their leaders, by people who probably don't usually follow politics at all.

A few examples:

A friend of mine sent me a document called Why The Tories Are Evil.
There's a group on Facebook called National Not Voting Conservative Day.
And another called We Got Rage To Number 1, We Can Get Lib Dems To Number 10.

Status updates:
Please don't vote that Tory c.nt in today...for fucks sake people...I don't want to have to look at is face for the next four years...

Come on Britain, send Mr Potato Head back to Witney with his tail between his legs...
Please.

I do think it's very important to vote, even if your proposed party of choice has no chance of winning the seat where you live. In my eyes, if you don't vote, you don't get to complain. However, can we please calm down. The country is not going to fall to its knees (although it did recently) whoever wins. People hated Thatcher but she managed to stay in power for an impressive amount of time, same with Tony Blair.

I will be voting this evening, but keeping my vote to myself because it is my right to do so, but mainly through fear of a vehement attack from my peers.

MR FOOL FOOLISH

2010-05-04T16:21:00.002+01:00

Due to my unemployment I decided to sync my Facebook with my Spotify with my iTunes. Then, for some reason, Spotify decided that it didn't like what I called most of the songs on my iTunes and renamed them, the artist or the album, or in some cases all three.

So 5 years of diligent and meticulous database management was flushed down the shitter like, well like anything that goes down the shitter.

I had planned no to update my ipod until I had sorted it out, but considering it took all of yesterday for those bastards to do it automatically, it's probably best I didn't.

So now there's a load of songs missing in action on my iTunes. It's like they faked their own death in Vietnam and then took the name of their dead captain and are hiding in this city. I'll track you down, your family just want to know you're safe.

AND THEY WOULD NOT STOP SCREAMING

2010-05-04T10:21:00.002+01:00

As you get older you have to answer the question: Do the hangovers get worse or can your body not take it anymore?

To be fair to my body, who isn't talking to me right now, I beat the crap out of it over the extended weekend (what is actually extended when you don't work?). I drank a lot on Friday night and then had a chicken kebab. On Saturday I had an acceptable number of pints and then on Sunday had two pizzas and a load of booze ending with rum and something at 3am. Yesterday was awful and I still ache now.

But it's not the physical pain that worsens but the mental one. When you have a lack of sleep and a shit load of depressants, because that is essentially what booze is, you feel like rubbish in your mind too. So instead of just feeling rubbish yesterday, I still feel rubbish today. Boo.

Maybe I'll have a can of delicious Strongbow for lunch.

pic courtesy of Jesse who always looks like she's having more fun than me.

YOU TOLD ME FORTUNES

2010-04-29T11:19:00.002+01:00

Fuck it let's make it a diary. I don't intend to write here a lot and I will undoubtedly go days and weeks without posting, but from now on if something is on my mind, or I want to not visit Facebook (how are people not addicted to it - maybe they have people to talk to), I will write something.

So in age old fashion, let's do it as a list.

1. Watched Synth Britannia programme and have been listening to New ORder, Depeche Mode and strangely the new/latest Editors album. I dismissed it initially but there's 4 really god songs on there. For a 9 track album,that isn't a bad return.

2. Sometimes you get excited about an album that's about to come out. You liked the previous one. Then you liked it more. Then you heard they were bringing out a new one and you get into the old one more. Then you get into the first song and it grows and grows until you're playing it on repeat really loud and the album is still a month or so away. Then you feel like this new album, that you haven't heard yet, could be very important to you. It could be the album that changes you.

At the moment I feel like that with The Gaslight Anthem. While The '59 Sound was good, it did have the song The '59 Sound which is one of the best songs ever made. It's in the top 20, maybe the top 10 (a list that changes but needs to be made). It could be amazing this new one. But do albums ever live up to the expectation? It will either be not good enough and therefore a disappointment or you'll think initially it's the best thing ever, much like many did with Be Here Now and 21st Century Breakdown. These are not great albums, but they aren't awful albums. They are just not 5 star albums. More like 3 star. If Be Here Now was awarded universal 3 stars then it wouldn't have been slated so dramatically those years later.

I'm sure Alex would think High Violet will be his life changer, but I'm going with American Slang. Fingers crossed.

3. I also watched Mesrine parts 1 & 2 and I implore anyone and everyone to do the same. Blah blah French Goodfellas blah. Not really, just impeccable acting from Vincent Cassel. Probably the world's finest at the moment.

4. Thinking about how to go about getting George and Lynne Explained published. I suppose I need to go to the copyright holders, but I don't want to tell them too much otherwise they could close the website like that. I won't mention the website but send them a couple of examples to see what they think.

5. Having panicked about the prospect of another weekend on my own, it now looks like I'll be doing something Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Praise be the lord.

FED TO THE OCEAN

2010-04-23T19:21:00.003+01:00

I varnished myself inside so I can't go out to get food. If only I would allow myself a takeaway I could be eating something nice this evening. Instead I am having sausages in tomato sauce with pasta. Beaucoup de sel, je pense. And three cans of Strongbow.

I have neglected the Hughesie Times blog as it was meant to document the mundane and although what I have been doing recently has been downright dull, it is quite interesting that I'm doing it. So I'm not going to document that.

Was going to write something about a girl, but it would be pointless. I'll vent that to the next person who enquires after my well-being - lucky you!

COMICS

2010-04-19T11:39:00.002+01:00

There are many ways to pass the time but one of the best so far are the specific Tumblr blogs that deal with a certain topic. My favourite at the moment is Comically Vintage which posts panels and covers of old comics which are completely absurd in either their ideas or dialogue.

There also seems to be a lot of spanking by Superman in the 60s, which really must have hurt.

AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT CHAPTER

2010-02-28T10:33:00.003Z

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How many songs total: 13162

How many hours or days of music: 36 days, 7 hours, 16 minutes and 3 seconds

First Artist: A

Last Artist: !!!

Sort By Song Title:
First Song: A-Punk - Vampire Weekend
Last Song: - Stephen Fretwell

Shortest Song: Christopher Walken - Cock Of The Walk Baby (1 second)
Longest Song: Glassjaw - Live at Brixton (1hr 23mins 28 secs)
First Album: Aaliyah - Aaliyah
Last Album: 90125 - Yes

Top two Most Played Songs
Paramore - Decode

Arctic Monkeys - Cornerstone

First Song That Comes Up On Shuffle: The Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knocking

Search The Following & State How Many Songs Come Up:
Death – 176
Life – 201
Love – 576
Hate – 57
You – 1365
Sex – 49

WOMAN ON WOMAN ACTION

2010-02-18T10:04:00.003Z

Why have Rolling Stone put a couple of lesbians on the cover? Subtitle: 'Why we love Ellen DeGenres (or however you spell it)'

DREAMS CAN COME TRUE

2010-01-04T22:10:00.003Z

It was difficult to sleep last night due to the impending return to school, yes I am afraid of children. I can't remember all of the dream I had but one part of it was quite sinister and very film trailerish.

I was at my parent's house and they were leaving to go somewhere in the night and I was left alone. One of my duties was to make sure the cat went out and not run upstairs, like a cat I had when I was young used to do. I was locking the door when part of it broke off and the cat ran out. It had some sort of loose latch. I had to find the cat which then jumped up at the conservatory window. Finally I got it inside, fixed the door and shut it in the kitchen.

As I left the kitchen a small black boy dressed in white pyjamas came down the stairs and into the hall. I had never seen the boy before and was very shocked. I asked him who he was and why he was here but he gave me no answer. I asked him if he knew the phone number of his parents and he gave me this long number which ended in 'nickel formula'. I didn't know what those words meant with regard to a phone number but he showed me what to press as there were some strange keys on the telephone. For some reason and I don't know how, I found out that this actually set a timer for a bomb going inside the child. Apparently people/aliens were tricking families into taking in foster children wired with bombs and a certain phone number would set the bombs off.

Nickel Formula, coming this Summer.

SO THIS IS THE NEW YEAR

2010-01-03T16:20:00.003Z

Usually when a new year begins people make all sorts of wild resolutions that they insist they will follow. "I will give up smoking!" "I will get Audrey to marry me!" "I will only play World Of Warcraft on weekends!" "I will wash my socks!"

I will not be making any new year's resolutions. No, I am not perfect but I will not be henpecked by society (calm down, it's only January) into making changes at this time. Let us wait for an epiphany to change our lives. Epiphanies certainly do not happen at 5.45am on the tube home, thank you TfL, on the 1st January. They happen at arbitrary times and, if not arbitrary, usually on your birthday. Best do them when your doctor tells you, or you lose another girl/boyfriend for picking your nose and eating it.

Also, I won't make them because I won't keep them. I am now far too set in my ways to do anything different to what I do now. What is the point of saying I will go for a bike ride every Saturday when I won't be able to commit to it. I would like to go on more bike rides, who knows what it looks like round the back of my flat, but other things will always be deemed more important, and take preference.

If I do have one resolution it is to not give up. Yet.

HAVE A DRINK THEY'RE BUYING

2009-12-22T20:49:00.003Z

Now the holiday has started, there's time to air some grievances.

The programme Something For The Weekend: Jesus Fucking Christ. Actually it's not so much the programme which has an alright format, but the way it's presented. That Tim Lovejoy needs to be shot. He is an arrogant arsehole who gives the impression that he turns up two minutes before the show airs and says 'don't worry about the script. I'm a professional; I'll wing it.' Everything seems half arsed and amateurish. Put some effort in man.

Polo necks: I want a polo neck but I can't find one anywhere. Uniqlo says they have one but not in the shop. And I don't know my size in that shop.

Clothes: Scratch that, let's just put it down to clothes in general. When I want something, it is no longer in any shops. Tried to buy boots today, nothing I like. Well nothing under £80.

My attention span: Why is it so hard to watch something which lasts for more than half an hour? The older I get, the less time I can concentrate.

Free View box: Stop freezing! It takes ages for the guide to come back.

Red Hot Chili Peppers: You're fucked now - without Frusciante your band will slowly go down the pan. Granted, Stadium Arcadium only had one good song, but Californication and By The Way are fantastic, and would be nothing without Frusciante's noodle work and, arguably more importantly, his harmonies.

WEAR YA BIN?

2009-11-01T17:29:00.002Z

I have been listening to the same 22 songs on my iPod for the last week. They are:

Death Cab For Cutie - Meet Me At The Equinox

Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy (single mix)

Brand New - In A Jar

Alexisonfire - Heading For The Sun

Alexisonfire - Young Cardinals

Coldplay - Violet Hill

Train - Drops Of Jupiter

Paramore - Ignorance

Jace Everett - Bad Things

Pearl Jam - Unthought Known

Brand New - Sink

Thrice - Doublespeak

Fall Out Boy - Alpha Dog

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe

Jamie T. - Sticks & Stones

Friendly Fires - Lovesick

Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire

Alexisonfire - Born And Raised

Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody

Live - Hold Me Up

Coldplay - Lovers In Japan

Friendly Fires - On Board

School starts again tomorrow. I think I'm set for tomorrow; just need to print out the sheets. New start, no shouting just getting attention and stepping out myself. I can't take it personally. I talk a good game but putting it into practice is a bit more difficult. Will be good to see some of the staff too.....

I have such good intentions of using this as a forum for my views, but the only things that I want to vent are so personal that I don't think this is the correct medium. It used to be popular culture but I barely have time for that now. My mind is filled with two things: school and girls. Not school girls. Actually no one knows the person I currently like so I could put it here, but I honestly don't think anything will happen so there isn't much point.

I am looking forward to:

The next holiday

Mad Men series 3

The National's new album

Seeing RB

WINNERS DON'T USE DRUGS

2009-08-28T21:12:00.002+01:00

At this present moment in time I am not looking forward to going to bed. This is because I am on drugs for an ear infection and last night the side effects kicked in. When I woke up at 4:10am with crippling Kurt Cobain stomach cramps I thought it may have been the mushrooms which are, granted, 4 or 5 days out of date. Then I thought it might be the chilli. 4 hours and 6 trips to the toilet later I read the little bit of paper that comes with Amoxicillin 500mg Capsules. Some patients find that they suffer from an upset stomach or diarrhoea.

Although I don't consider myself a male stereotype, I do possess on trait: I don't read instructions. All I read for these pills were 'take 3 times daily'. If I had known that before I may have spoken to the doctor. Something along the lines of 'do you realise I have the digestive system of a komodo dragon with a sensitive stomach?' The moral of this story: always read the label.

Due to this, I'm quite glad I'm now not going to Reading festival tomorrow. It would have been quite tricky. Not to mention that I haven't drunk anything (alcoholic) for a good week and a half.

I see Kaiser Chiefs are on now, but Fall Out Boy look like they pulled a bigger crowd in the afternoon. Fall Out Boy probably have more fans than Kaiser Chiefs. Have you noticed how Kaiser Chiefs encompass the 5 states of indie. You have the singer who likes to sport a waistcoat, the drummer who wears a pressed shirt done up to the top and a smart haircut, the bassist who wears the tight jeans and vintage t-shirt, the guitarist who looks like he's from 1994 and finally the keyboardist who favours the hat. What other band does that? Unfortunately their music only encompasses on state of indie; that of early Blur (Modern Life Is Rubbish era).

Beatles reissues are out in two weeks. I will try to blag as many as possible but I would like to start with Rubber Soul.

That'll do for now.

SOLO PROJECT

2009-08-23T16:19:00.000+01:00

A difficult weekend. All friends are away; some at a wedding, some back to parents, one to Edinburgh. I thought one would be around but that failed and then ukulele practice got cancelled twice. So I have seen no one all weekend. What have I done? Organised my CDs...
Riveting I hear you say, but let me tell you certain things:

1. When you have over 1000 CDs it is impossible to find anything when they aren't in order.

2. Alphabetizing that many CDs tales ages.

First of all I thought I wanted something a little different. I had organised them loosely into genres at my sister's so I didn't want to a straight A-Z as you have to move everything up one when you get new CDs (not that I buy that many anymore). I first of all thought of having them chronologically, that way if I get a new CD it just goes to the end. But that took far too long and got tedious. Then I thought of doing it by the colour of the spine, but then I thought I'd never find anything. Finally I groups the most inportant bands together (Faith No More, Pearl Jam, Tool, The Beatles) and then any connections that take place between bands (Sparta/At The Drive In/Mars Volta).

After that I just grouped any artists together. Having done that I will alphabetize each individual rack (there are 4). It's taken a day and a half.

One thing I have learnt from all this is that CD packaging is too big. Whoever invented the jewel case should be shot. It makes everything so heavy and takes up too much space. Records didn't have a plastic case. In fact CDs should be packaged like records were. A gatefold sleeve with one side for the CD and the other for the booklet. Yes it doesn't have the same durability of the jewel case but you can print it all on recycled paper, and it will take up far less space. And everything in my collection that has a paper sleeve looks so much better than the normal packaging. Take the Pearl Jam albums, all packaged nicely in almost all paper (especially No Code and Vitalogy). The Puscifer album is just one bit of card folded in a way that keeps the CD from falling out. Do CDs need a plastic chair? No they don't.

Every CD should be packaged like the latest Counting Crows album, but shouldn't necessarily sound like it. And if you want something special, go down the Tool - 10,000 Days route.

NO SENSITIVITY

2009-08-21T21:52:00.005+01:00

Again, this site has been left to rot like a fat man's fruit bowl due to my obsession with the lives of George and Lynne (what are their surnames? We'll never know). Due to this weekend's non-activity, I have time on my hands to wax lyrical about certain things. Not controversial, but the moment will have passed by the time I get to talk to anyone about them, if anyone cares.

1. I'm not one to join the masses in human bear baiting - I watched Fahrenheit 9-11 last night and thought it was 2 hours of sour grapes Bush hating, and I'm not even a fan of Bush, but if you want to object to war, pick war as a target not a man who won two elections - but the freeing of this Lockerbie bomber, and to some extent Ronnie Biggs, is totally unacceptable. What is the point of sentencing someone to life in prison if they get released before they die? I remember when I was younger seeing front page news of Rudolph Hess dying in prison and, although I didn't really know what it meant, it certainly stuck with me. Do they just release these people just so they don't have to deal with the bodies? It's complete bullshit. If someone is sentenced to life in prison they should die in prison, i.e. they aren't fit to live a normal life. And the less said about the hero's welcome, the better.

2. Is it me or is the start to this Premier League season one of the most exciting in recent history? Everything gets sorted out by Christmas but Tottenham look great, Man Utd look patchy and Aston Villa look awful. Let's have something different this season.

3. Due to that bastard, I'm having to buy new glasses, plates, bowls and so on. And he had the balls to try and contact me asking where we stand. You owe me £2500, that's where we stand. I hope to fuck the courts haven't gone soft.

4. I bought a Thrice song. It's good. It's called Doublespeak.

Favourite songs in the world right now:

ELO - Evil Woman

Thrice - Doublespeak

Arctic Monkeys - Crying Lightning

Florence & The Machine - Drumming Song

Bruce Springsteen - Outlaw Pete

WE WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE

2009-08-10T18:28:00.002+01:00

After 10 1/2 months, I'm moving back home next week. Not saying that this house hasn't been home, but it's not really home. My flat, even though I have only lived there for 3 years, really does feel like home now. The tenants are gone, leaving me a surprise monetary bonus, and I'm 3 moves away from having everything back. I am doing it very slowly though as I can't really move back in fully until Monday.

Having been away for almost a year, I decided I would make some changes so it felt like I wasn't moving into someone else's place.

1. Stereo and one sofa up one end of the living room, in what I call the music end of the room.

2. Wardrobe and drawers in different places in the bedroom.

3. Pictures moved and 3rd WS going, with a new flyer type display to be made.

4. I was going to get rid of the book case but it is now my nerd case with records and comics going on it until I can maybe put up some shelves.

I seem to have lost this blog over the last month or so. The George and Lynne blog took off for a bit and I'm still getting a lot of hits so I'm doing that at the moment. I have no horrific love life to grieve about and I'm basically on holiday at the moment so I'm moving and watching films. Maybe when school starts I can write some witty anecdotes from a primary school teacher.

ROLL JORDAN, ROLL

2009-07-16T11:47:00.003+01:00

Now the summer is here, it's time to bury myself in musings.

1. Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals

This is getting better with every listen. Firstly I thought they're not giving as much bite as on Crisis but one thing they have got is bigger melodies. Dallas Green's voice is a thing of wonder, and it works so much better in AoF than in City and Colour. This, coupled with George Pettit new found soft growl, has the makings of an album of the year. But, without taking anything away from it, there hasn't been much competition so far, but we have Paramore, Editors, Thrice, Arctic Monkeys, Pearl Jam, Brand New and The Twilight Sad still to come. Speaking of which.....

2. The Twilight Sad - I Became A Prostitute

What a triumph! The first album was a wonderful journey of darkness but this song has so much more, and a chorus! If the songwriting has improved like this the album will be stunning without losing any of the shoe gazing guitars. There's something about scottish bands that draw me in. See also We Were Promised Jetpacks. If you live in America, you get to see those two and Frightened Rabbit all in one show.

3. Manchester City

One of the good things about being into football but not supporting a Premier League team is you get to an impartial view on teams and transfers. Many of the old guard have balked at the inflated transfer prices and new Middle Eastern money, and yes foreign ownership and too many overseas players may be, in the long term, bad for the English game, but let's enjoy it while we can. Something worse for the game is the monopolisation of the so-called Big 4. For the past 6 years they are the only teams that players want to go to. Why can't Manchester City break into it. Lest we forget that Chelsea were pretty much a nothing team until Mr Abramovich turned up. That could have been any team, especially any London team as I'm sure he didn't want to live anywhere else. How long did it take them? A couple of years and £100m. City could do that, and their stadium is big enough. They just need a centre back at the moment, but I don't think it will be John Terry. Go for Jolean Lescott.

4. George And Lynne

Sorry to blow my own trumpet but since being mentioned on Sunday Times writer Bryan Appleyard's blog, the hits have increased by about 500% (or something). Now if I could only harness this power.

BATTLES LOST, BATTLES WON

2009-07-12T11:17:00.002+01:00

Well, without wanting to blow my own trumpet, I did it. 2 years on from reading an interview with the giant toby jug filled with hot piss that is Adrian Chiles about his music collection that changed the way I looked at working in music, I am now a qualified teacher.

Here is what I have learned from the past year:

Some kids you will hate, but it doesn't matter if they end up knowing how to use a protractor.

Don't get involved with someone who is in a relationship.

I'm a shit landlord.

I've got quite a loud voice.

I can make children cry.

Don't forget who your true friends are when you're making new ones.

If you're lazy, you get what you deserve.

SUMMER

2009-06-29T18:43:00.003+01:00

So that was the first big weekend of the summer... Starts Thursday as usual with a canteen quiz and again no-one wins the big cash prize. Later I do my sound bloke routine by approaching Gina's new boyfriend to say that he shouldn't feel that there's any animosity between us and then I even go and make peace with her. I shouldn't have bothered. Then on Friday night we went through to the Arches...

There was only one car going, so some of us had to get the train. We got through quite late. Then we went to a pub to take the gear. There was no problems getting in - we saw some others waiting down the front of the queue so we skipped in. It was a good night, everyone was nutted and I ended up dancing with some blonde girl. I thought she had been quite pretty until last night when Matthew informed me that she had, in fact, been a pig. When the club finished we wandered the streets for a while until we got to this 24-hour cafe but I didn't like the look of it so we left and got a taxi back to Morag's flat. I couldn't sleep, so I sat about drinking someone else's strawberry tonic wine and tried to keep everyone else up.

Then at ten o'clock in the morning we went downstairs to buy some drink. We had intended to watch the football in the afternoon but we'd passed out by then and slept right through it, awaking to find that England had won two-nil. Then we went to get the train home and had a few in the Station bar. We had some stuff left from the previous night's supplies so when we got home we decided to go down to John's indie disco. Same story as Friday - lots of hugging, lots of dancing etc. etc. I couldn't sleep again so went up the park to look at the tomb, taking a detour through the playpark. To get in we had to climb over a ten foot steel fence, which resulted in severe bruising of our hands, legs and groins, but we had a good laugh on the stuff, especially the tube-slide, which probably doubles up as a urinal for drunk teens. Then we walked through the woods to have a look at the tomb. It was a big disappointment, but the mist on the lake was cool.

Sunday afternoon we go up to John's with a lot of beer in time to watch the Simpsons. It was a really good episode about love always ending in tragedy except, of course, for Marge and Homer. It was quite moving at the end and to tell you the truth my eyes were a bit damp. Then we watched these young girls in swimsuits have a water fight in the street. "Taping this, aye?" We went up to the pub about ten. It was busy for a Sunday night, lots of people we know, including my first ever girlfriend who I still find very attractive, quite frankly, but I didn't really speak to her. She's probably still a bitch, anyway. Her friend Gillian was there, I had a chat with her, she was still quite pleasant. At the same time I watched Malcolm make some terrible attempt to try and chat up a girl we know called Jo. He made some remark about her skirt that was barely there the previous night or something. I couldn't sleep again that night, thanks to some seriously disturbing nightmares...Matthew says I should cut down on the cheese.

"Went out for the weekend, it lasted for ever, high with our friends it's officially summer."

I got some sleep eventually on Monday afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and later that evening Malcolm introduced me to the power of Merrydown - £1.79 a litre, 8.2% - mmmm..... Judith and Laura came round later and we sat in my back garden and drank. Then Matthew came round and we went up the town. It's officially summer.

I need a break. I cannot wait for next weekend.

THE WHITE TRASH PERIOD OF MY LIFE

2009-06-28T19:55:00.002+01:00

The barbers has shut, and I'm in need of a haircut. It's not as easy as just going into a hairdresser and asking for a haircut. You need to feel comfortable. My hair is terrible and I need a way to eith cover or embrace the thin patch at the front. Last night I was contemplating the grade 4 but I think that would be too short. Oh what a quandry!

P.S. I still don't know what I'm doing.

ON A CONCRETE ROAD TO RECOVERY

2009-06-20T15:05:00.002+01:00

Note to self: stop thinking so far in advance.

This week is very important. I have an interview and my final observation. It makes or breaks the rest of my life. I'm meant to be preparing for the interview and my literacy lessons. What am I doing? Thinking about Rock Band The Beatles and how I want my flat to look when I move back in.

Not cluttered but not clinical, I think. Halfway between.

AN ENGLISH GARDEN

2009-06-19T22:43:00.001+01:00

God this makes me smile. We should be thankful everyday that we had The Beatles.

LACHRYMOLOGY II

2009-06-11T22:17:00.002+01:00

Today I saw 5 people cry. All of them are under 10 and one of them was my fault.

I had to. I had to stamp my authority down on a situation that could have got chaotic. In some ways I felt bad, but I couldn't back down after I made my decision.

The other tears were due to friendships or lack of them. I also felt a bit bad but it now comes with the territory.

Reading

Listening

Watching

Talking of Stephen King, I think I'd like to read the Dark Tower series, but I'm not sure I can give myself to all of a 7 part literary epic.

TWO MINDS

2009-05-27T11:24:00.003+01:00

An interview with myself (how self indulgent)

Me: How are you today?

You: I feel alright today. I quite like it when the weather is bad as it justifies me not leaving the house. I have to work and I have the day all planned out and it probably only involves leaving the house once. It's nice not having any people under the age of ten around, but there are short moments when I get a bit lonely, but you just fill that with work or entertainment.

Me: You make a point of talking about loneliness but you make a conscious decision not to go out at certain points. Why is that?

You: Well for a start, I do have a lot of work to do. I have to work hard if I want to get the job I want. It may be half term but it hasn't meant I'm free and easy. I'm used to living on my own so this is a period where I can actually do the things I want to, watch the TV I want to etc. I think if I did live on my own, which I will do soon, I will go out more. But of course the drinking will have to be curbed as the hangovers are getting much worse these days.

Me: What do you like to drink?

You: When I'm out it's cider, preferably Strongbow. If I'm in it's red wine. I can and will drink white wine and lager but it's second choice. The problem is that I find it so tasty, red wine in particular. You are meant to enjoy it all in moderation but that's where the difficulty lies. If I was able to I'd only eat chocolate and crisps, or roast lamb, but it's just not possible.

Me: What would be the perfect meal then?

You: I think a roast lamb with the trimmings so to speak. The one I had at New Year's last year came pretty close to the mark.

Me: Speaking of favourites, let's do a few quick fire questions.

You: Ok

Me: Try not to think about it, just answer the first thing that comes into your head. Favourite film?

You: I watched Garden State again last night and it had the same effect on me as the first time I saw it, maybe even more so. But maybe I'm only saying that as it's so fresh in my mind. Spinal Tap or Fletch too.

Me: What makes the comedies so much longer lasting?

You: It isn't the films themselves, it's the quoting afterwards. The funniest time I watched Anchorman was with 4 friends. It took us about 2 hours to watch a 90 minute film because we were rewinding it so much.

Me: Favourite band/artist?

You: Ryan Adams. There's bits I'm not keen on but he's someone who really captured my imagination. Tool are a close second but there's only a small amount to draw from.

Me: What's your favourite Ryan Adams song then?

You: A very difficult question. A favourite moment was Crossed Out Name the last time I saw him live. I love I See Monsters and When The Stars Go Blue but the best song is probably Jacksonville Skyline.

OOH LA LA

2009-05-23T20:14:00.003+01:00

By my absence you can work out it that it currently isn't awful. In fact it's pretty damn good.

The buoyancy of my current mood is encapsulated by the fact that I will now write a list of the things I currently love.

Playing the ukulele

Writing the George and Lynne blog

The new Green Day (sorry, I'm mainstream)

The Arctic Monkeys new look

The Wire season 2

Not hating school

The end to the Premier League season

Not being infatuated with someone I can't have

I'm sure rants will come soon. But not now. Again, let us bask in the good things for a short time.

WALK THIS WAY

2009-05-10T19:27:00.003+01:00

School starts tomorrow. If it's the same as last time it will be 8 weeks of pain with a breakdown or two in there. I'm hoping it's not going to be like last time. So far it has been better.

I should be meticulously planning for the next week with 4 lessons to teach this week (as opposed the usual 14 I'll be doing normally) but as I'm doing nothing tomorrow, I've done very little so far.

After yesterday, I've re-ignited my crush on the uke. 5 chords learned and getting better by the day. I thank my practice partner and hope for many more to come.

Also, if school this time is anything like last time then posting will be at a maximum.

British things that should be law:

- Tea at 4 on the dot, without fail. (This will be undoubtedly be included on why life should be like the 50s post I'm working on)

- Everyone should own a tweed jacket and a pair of brogues.

- Saying good morning to strangers if you are up early at the weekend and the street isn't that busy.

- Old men going for a half of mild either just before or just after the Sunday roast.

- Diplomacy (either that or saying exactly what you mean).

- All but one football match at 3pm on a Saturday.

- Summer slacks.

- A local butcher and baker.

- Getting a man in.

- A tabloid and a broadsheet on Sunday.

British things that should be outlawed

- Greggs the baker.

- Swearing in public.

- Most football supporters.

- The Enemy, The Courteeners and any other working class band who is trying to say that it's terrible up north (1. it's not 1960, and 2. The Beatles, who you're trying to be, sang about love)

- Hello magazine.

THE FUGITIVE

2009-05-07T19:36:00.002+01:00

Lyle Lovett must be shitting himself.

UP, DOWN, X, X, O, L1, L2, RIGHT, START

2009-05-04T17:21:00.002+01:00

Sometimes I think, can I just get someone to tell me what to do? Can I go online and get the cheat code for life? There's levels and end of level bosses I just can't get past in this life, but the walkthrough says that it's not impossible. It's all possible because I know what the controls are.

I'd love to have the cheat code for certain things in this life; the job interviews I have coming up (which aren't your average job interviews); how to act around the women you like; when and how to contact them. But I suppose the outcome won't result in any satisfaction. If the girls think you're texts are needy then they aren't for you and the interviews are only an hour of your life (plus all the preparation).

That is of course if the game you're playing ends up with the happy ending and the end credits. You could be playing a knock off and in that case it's best to cheat and buy a new game as quickly as possible.

NEVER EVER BLOODY ANYTHING EVER

2009-05-01T18:27:00.003+01:00

NEVER:

a) go into a pub with a flat roof

b) text someone when you want a reply

c) be friends with someone who describes themselves as mad (unless you work in a mental hospital, because it's likely they might be a god of some kind)

d) buy a book that is advertised on the tube (typical tagline - 'They thought it would never happen...')

e) take sartorial advice from a man with a single vented jacket

f) fall in love with someone you shouldn't

g) spend more than 24 hours without speaking to someone

h) take sweets from strangers

i) go back in time

THE MEMORY REMAINS

2009-04-29T16:26:00.003+01:00

I am crap with names, I forget things unless I write them down and I can't really remember much before the age of ten, but for some reason there are certain tiny inconsequential memories that always pop up in my mind.

Andrew McCarron telling the French teacher that saying Tour D'Eiffel was stupid.

Me telling the new teacher that David Wells liked to be called Wellsy.

Chez wearing his t-shirt signed by Olympic hurdler Debbie Flintoff-King in McDonalds, although I can't remember who he was with.

A lot of my 'friends' throwing stones at me when I said I was ill and then I was sick ont he way to the car when my Mum came and picked me up.

People measuring me to decide whether or not I was in fact 5 feet tall (when I was 14. Please).

My sister smashing me in the face with a tennis racket (actually it's not difficult to forget that one).

Adam Scrivener crying because 'these are new trousers' that he got dirty. They were always new trousers.

Having to meet Adrian at Wendy Crescent because our mothers couldn't be bothered to drive the whole way.

We won't mention the consequential moments (first kiss, losing virginity, best gigs, first house etc). They won't go, and I know where to find them.

LACHRYMOLOGY

2009-04-24T21:32:00.002+01:00

Today was a strange day. I won't go into the ins and outs of it, but because of people's reactions and emotions I asked myself the question: what makes you cry?

If you ask this to a number of different people, you'd get a number of different answers. Some people would say the music of Nick Drake, others the films of Richard Curtis. The last time I, for example, cried was watching the Say Anything trailer (found earlier here). Ask me the time before that, and a few times before that and you'd get the answer I'm looking for.

Basically, people cry because they don't like to think that they're not good enough. People usually cry when they are rejected by something or someone. I cried when I failed my driving test, football fans cry when their team is relegated and everyone cries if they are dumped by a partner. There's nothing worse than when someone is basically telling you "thanks for all the effort you've put in, but quite frankly it was a waste of time because this person is better."

Well let me tell you this. The people who make you cry are not better than you. They still shit themselves when they were 2, they still had to be taught to read, and they have cried themselves for exactly the same reason, because they weren't good enough. You are good enough, and to someone you're the best person in the world. So remember that next time you cry.

Of course if someone's died, you've got every right to cry and I can't explain that one.

HAPPINESS. WE'RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER

2009-04-23T18:14:00.004+01:00

Jesus, what happened? Remember this moment in time - 18:15 on April 23rd 2009. I am 31 years old and right now I am happy. I feel a polish of contentment all over me. I want to phone the girls I like. I want to have ridiculous laughter conversations with my best friends. I want to put on the loudest music I have. I want to smile. I can smile. As dog is my witness, I will keep this for a week. A week.

It won't fucking last, but at least it exists.

P.S. Previous 'roid was not mine

SWEATING BULLETS

2009-04-22T19:04:00.003+01:00

Dear Me,

I have bad days and you have good days. The bad days are usually a mixture of yesterday's alcohol and being on your own, the good days are usually a mixture of today's alcohol and being with people. It is probably the case the someone is thinking about you right now, or at least the idea of you. You may know that person, you may barely know that person, or you may not know that person at all.

Take it easy and go with the flow. You'll enjoy it better that way.

All the best

ON THE ROCKS

2009-04-21T11:26:00.003+01:00

At what point did it start to hurt this much?

Now I'm not going to portray myself as some macho boozehound who can down ten pints of bitter at breakneck speed and drink you under the table, but I do have a propensity to drink a bit too much. With age, the tolerance goes up, so the amount goes up that is needed to achieve the same results (and what results are these? If I had an ounce of self confidence I wouldn't need sweet lady Bow), and this brings on the hangover and the pain.

So this is it. I have to drink more but the after affects also increase. And is it worth it? Believe me, the next time someone buys me three small clear drinks on a Monday night (regardless of the occasion) I will cast my mind back to 2.30 this morning and remember how much fun that was, and then I will decline.

One day I'll stop, but not now. I've not got my bus pass quite yet.

LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING

2009-04-17T22:55:00.005+01:00

The man sat in front of his typewriter. He stared at it with his hands by his sides. The blank page stared straight back at him, in some way mocking him for his apparent paralysis. He had put on his old soft cardigan, his old soft corduroy trousers and his old soft slippers. He had turned the off the record player, put the Dave Brubeck record back in its sleeve, and the sleeve back on the shelf. He had closed the window, shut the curtains and lit a candle, the only light, bar whatever soft sunlight that had made it through the sentry doors of the curtains. He had blocked out all outside noise, interference and distraction. But still he stared. No words came. No ideas. Nothing. By giving himself nothing, he had nothing, and by abstaining from influence he had suffocated his muse.

But slowly he lifted his arms and set his fingers to the typewriter. He began to type, one letter and one finger at a time. He wrote one word, pulled the paper from the machine and placed it on the desk. He looked back at the paper and read the word to himself.

Purpose.

THEY PULL ME BACK IN JERRY

2009-04-15T20:40:00.004+01:00

Wow!

Much like in the previous missive we discussed (don't pretend you didn't discuss it) about people blowing your mind, or at least making you sit up straight and pay attention, music also does it as well.

Not music in general, but certain songs. You listen just to see what they sound like and then bang, you've got one song on repeat, all day.

I love the way anything and everything can do this to us. It shows there's life left in you, not everything is dull and monotonous, you don't know everything.

Is it that it hits you when you least expect it, or is that when it makes the most impact?

By the way, it's Silversun Pickups - Panic Switch

P.S. (again) I totally missed the opportunity to label the last one THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WAY SHE MOVES ME, but maybe I didn't want gender attached to it.

I PICTURE YOU IN THE SUN

2009-04-13T20:51:00.006+01:00

Attraction Part II

What do these people have that draw us to them? What makes us think like this?

Let's face it, we've all been there. All fine and dandy in our little worlds when suddenly someone makes you question everything you've ever said or felt. Ken Barlow had it with Martha, Tom had is with Summer (probably), Ryan and Mandy, Edward Lewis and Vivian Ward, Patti Boyd and Eric Clapton. The list goes on. Eric never thought he would ever fall in love with his friend's wife, but he did. George was probably a bit miffed at the time but without Eric, he wouldn't have met Olivia. So there you go.

We can have our mind made up saying "I love him/her and no one will ever come close" and then, as Ryan said, it goes nuclear (When I saw her the Yankees lost to the Braves). It changes; maybe you're thinking of two people now when it was always one. At that point, go with your gut and not your Ross Geller pros and cons list.

It seems that as much as we hate it when the new fascinating person makes us question our lives, it might just be for the best. There is no 'One', but there's probably a handful and maybe you should until you get that before you make a decision.

P.S. Talking of George, I know he swiped his melody of My Sweet Lord from The Chiffons, but the beginning of Godless by Dandy Warhols sounds remarkably like the beginning of My Sweet Lord too. But I doubt there's much money coming from them.

SIR ALAN NERDISON

2009-04-08T23:58:00.007+01:00

Let's get one thing straight, I am a total nerd.

Not a nerd in the sense that I like maths, comics, prog rock and have a perspiration issue (I do have all of those but that's not the point); a nerd because because I have no idea how to act cool.

I love music, but I can't play an instrument.

I love football, but I'm a bit shit at it.

I love stories, but I can't write (although I haven't had this confirmed).

I love girls, but I have zero idea how to talk to them, let alone get them (or should that be the other way round?)

I think I love comics, but I rarely buy them.

I think I love books, but I only seem to read well known ones.

I think I love fashion and style, but I keep getting it totally wrong.

I think I love art house cinema, but a lot of it is quite boring.

I think I love hardcore, but I don't know that many bands.

The person who I think I am and try to give the impression I am is very very different to the person I actually am. I think I'm Jack Whitman but actually I'm Max Fischer.

And I'm fine with that.

SHITFIT

2009-04-08T19:19:00.003+01:00

What the fuck is wrong with me? I've had two shitfits in the last two weeks, for the most ridiculous stupid things. Although I may be the most highly strung person I've ever met, I've always prided myself on being easy going on the outside so people don't see my inner issues. If you know these inner issues (or you read this claptrap) then count yourself very special. To me anyway, who knows what other people think of you.

Anyway, the problem is, I've had these freak outs in front of the one person I didn't want to be weird around. Firstly because she wouldn't lend me a book, and secondly because I got left behind when I was invited to lunch. For fuck's sake, normally I would have made a joke about it but instead I got really annoyed, like a child's temper tantrum. I'm sure the reason I've had these shitfits is to do with said person. Because I've been denied time with that person.

So believe me, from this day forward, it's all being bottled up and coming out here. No more public outbursts, no more heart on my sleeve.

I consoled myself by buying a new coat. It's a spring/summer version of my winter coat but in navy. It adds to the Serge Gainsbourg/Paul McCartney look I'm trying to create. I want to wear it whilst listening to La Responsable by Jacques Dutronc (thanks James). In fact, that is now tied with Stranglehold as the music that plays in my head when I walk into a bar. Much like Hurricane plays when Wooderson walks into the Emporium.

('roids clockwise from top left: Paddy & Chez, obscured, at Ben's stag do when the camera spat out two photos; Mark and Joe showing that nobody fucks with the Jesus; Danielle in mid hair ruffle; me being calm)

BEING A BOY'S LIKE A SUCKING ON A LEMON

2009-04-06T11:45:00.006+01:00

Thoughts:

Lil' Wayne has a lot of tattoos.

Six is a great album, no matter what you say. And that review was written on my 21st birthday. It's a sign.

Bob Loblaw having a law blog is possibly the funniest thing ever.

This lady may possibly be the most attractive and stylish person I have ever seen.

I had more thoughts. I'm sure I was going to debunk a myth and say something profound. Maybe it will come to me later.

If life was like this, it would be amazing.

The only pureness left is preached to me by Marx.

THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY

2009-03-23T23:08:00.011Z

The internet is sucking out the romance from life.

The internet yields anonymity. If you're lonely and you want to rent a film, you now do it online. If you want to buy a book, you'll do it online, and even more so if you want to buy a book and you're cheap, you'll get it from Ebay or Amazon marketplace. So why do we even need to leave the house. There is now no reason to. You do it all online, and believe me I've done it all online.

By doing this you'll never meet the likeminded shy girl at the big blockbuster, or better yet the local video shop. The boy who reads like crazy but just got over a bad relationship. The girl who makes a funny quip about the album you're buying, not because she likes/dislikes (well not totally) your tastes but because she likes your face.

That's why all the records shops have closed down, because YOU don't want the hassle of going into town, because you don't want the cool rocksteady person behind the counter to snigger at you for buying the new Kings Of Leon album 6 months after it came out. Where the boy behind you is doing the same thing. You're both not that into music, but you are into the romantic notion of the independent record shop, the second hand book store, the market, the local bakers.

Now I'm not saying the internet is the new television and getting Disposable Heroes of Hiphopritical by being a luddite saying that it feeds radiation (it doesn't) but we are missing some of the things we used to pride ourselves on. Humans communicate, connect and fall in love.

If you want to run through the pigeons in the park do it, because the girl/boy who went to the park to read Bukowski or Gore Vidal just might fall in love with you. Take off your earphones for one part of your journey. Smile at someone. Make their day, or let someone make yours. The next time you finish a book, go out and buy a tatty copy of something in a second hand book shop or a car boot fair. The one person who is thinking exactly the same thing as you, that you don't belong here, is looking for exactly the same thing. Romance.

I don't mean romance in a dinner and flowers way, more the romantic nature of life. The unknowing, the naivety, the unanswered questions. And if you are an internet dater, I have been, don't ask two many questions beforehand, before you meet. Meet, and ask the questions to their face.

"I love the Smiths - to die by your side..."

"What are you looking for?" "The love of my life."

THIS FEAR'S GOT A HOLD ON ME

2009-03-22T18:22:00.004Z

I don't know what I'm doing part 3

I am currently writing an essay. This essay is meant to be 5000 words long and include lots of quotes to back up anything you say. I went to a special lecture to tell me how to write an essay as I haven't written an essay in 12 years, and even then it was only 1500 economics shit, just rehashing what you've been taught. I suppose all essays are just rehashing what you've been taught.

Anyway, having spent 2 hours being told how to write academically, I still have no clue. I have no clue whether what I've written is right, makes sense or carries an argument. Granted, I haven't read it back yet, but I'm a little afraid to. Who knows what I wrote. I wasn't drunk, but I feel it be a little Kerouac in its form.

Should it really matter how you write? I know punctuation and grammar is very important, and yes I am one of those people who corrects other people's grammar and NEVER uses text speak in texts, but some of the best books I've read have very bad punctuation. Would A Million Little Pieces have been as popular if it wasn't written that way? Regardless of the content and the fabrication story afterwards, one of the selling points was the style. And Kerouac too, but I can't back that up with any evidence as I can't find my copy. On The Road is the only book I've ever read twice, apart from Dangleboots when I was 9 and The Killing Joke. I just saw The Crow Road which is first on the list to join that prestigious group.

I'd like to think that when/if I become a teacher, I will not be a stickler for punctuation and grammar when writing fiction. Content comes first; anything which is wrong can be fixed by your editor.

Other thoughts:

1. Yesterday I finally saw footage of White Lies. As I suspected they are a young Editors. All monochrome clothes but without the kitsch of the Hives. I like it. Nice Ian Curtis fringes. I bet the fuzz from their black jumpers doesn't end up their white shirts. Or maybe it does.

2. I bet Terry Richardson could get any model to take their top off. God knows what he says to them.

3. Does it mean something, or not?

BRIAN HOWARD CLOUGH

2009-03-18T18:30:00.004Z

I got this from some random girl's fashion blog. I seem to be surfing for girl's blogs these days in order to find something new about the way girls think.

What are you wearing now? Dennis the Menace type long sleeved tee, jeans and slippers. I wasn't too keen on my outfit today.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? I am reading The Damned United by David Peace in an attempt to read it before seeing the film. I just finished The Wettest County In The World by Matt Bondurant last night.

Do you nap a lot? Never, my teeth hurt if I sleep in the day.

Who was the last person you hugged? Edward. He started crying because I told him off. Far too precious that boy.

What’s your current obsession/addiction? Girls blogs, Tumblr, her, playing the two chords from Postcards From Italy on the ukulele.

Which item from your closet are you wearing most lately? The check shirts

What's for dinner? Sausages and tomatoes with balsamic

What was the last thing you bought? Lunch. Or The Damned United, new Beirut ep and Ryan Adams' Infinity Blues

What are you listening to right now? MCR, and not ashamed

If you could have any super power, what would it be? Mind reading, would be so useful

What is your favourite weather, and why? Sunny but not too hot. Shirt sleeve order.

What time do you usually get up? 7.06 on college days, earlier or later depending on workload

What is your most challenging goal right now? The essays and her

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? Chicago or somewhere in France

Favourite vacation spot? NYC I suppose but I've done it for a while now.

What is your favorite item of clothing? Tweed jacket

Favorite pair of shoes you keep going back to over and over, even though your closet is overflowing with a zillion others: Winter: Big Black Boots / Summer: Tatty white cons - this is a silly question as I only have 6 pairs of shoes

Name one thing you cannot live without: The music of Ryan Adams

What time is bed time? Enough time to read before sleep before 12.

If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow morning, where would it be? With her

God I'm obsessed.

Questions:

When did Mary Kate become a hipster icon?

Is this essay any good?

Who will I see from college regularly?

What's the difference between Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry?

Did Watchmen have some deep hidden meaning that I missed or was it just a story?

When will I write something interesting? In fact I might post my short story about the virtual funeral service. I just need to write it first.

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH

2009-03-16T15:24:00.004Z

Personally, I don't think I'm very photogenic. I'm not saying I'm hideously ugly, although I have thought I was pretty unattractive towards the opposite sex in the past, but I blame that on lack of confidence, lack of understanding of myself and lack of puberty, but it's difficult to take a photo of me where I look good unless it's a candid one of me looking pensive in black and white.

Exhibit A:

The top three are coloured and posed whereas in the bottom three they are monochrome (bar the middle one) and candid. This means one of two things; I can't smile well and I have terrible colouring.

What I'd really like is a photo session to produce 10 or so photos that make me look good. Or just a friend who takes good photos. Is that too much to ask?

I look at people's flickr and tumblr things and they've got all these great grainy or well lit photos of themselves.

You probably think I'm so vain.....

BLOG VS BLOG

2009-03-15T12:19:00.003Z

I'm no luddite. I've got a shiny MacBook, a blog, a tumblr account and a twitter account. But what for? Having been on all of these for a while, here are my thoughts.

Blog: The type of people who have blogs don't really care who reads them and they put what they want up. This is usually a mixture of words and pictures, it will account lives so it can be difficult or nice to read. People will give opinions on things such as music, films and fashion, or even their own lives.

Tumblr: Where do I start? Tumblr accounts are either a series of uplifting messages photographed in an arty way, snippets of song lyrics from bands like The Academy Is..., Boys Like Girls or some other soft emo band, or porn. There seems to be absolutely no restriction (bar the illegal) on what you can post on tumblr, even music which is odd given copyright is such a grey area on the internet.

Twitter: This gives people an inflated sense of self worth as they feel as though they are friends with celebrities as they can reply to their posts. The celebrities will rarely respond.

But who am I to talk. I have a blog no one reads, go on tumblr to look at uplifting messages and arty porn and go to twitter to see what Trent Reznor and Pete Wentz are saying.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE SO SAD?

2009-03-09T20:12:00.002Z

I suppose you can tell my frame of mind when I'm referencing Ryan Adams lyrics in casual conversation. There was another band I quoted the other day, but I can't remember it.

1. When talking about someone's rocky relationship, I said, "What, what are the words they use when they know it's over? 'We need to talk' or 'I'm confused, maybe later you could come over.'"

2. When liking a girl from afar, I said, "I remember seeing you the other day but I don't remember saying goodbye. Alls I know is the sky went clear and babe I think I wanted to die."

The best line in that song is "For everyday of sun, I get a month of rain."

SHE GAVE ME A PEN.....

2009-03-06T20:03:00.004Z

A quick look at the papers.

Went to see Metallica and The Bronx this week. I always say after I see Metallica that it will be the last time I see Metallica. The show in September was a lot better to this one but probably only due to the seats we had. The show was great, but due to the sparsely populated area in front of us, the sound was a bit muddy. But they did play Turn The Page which I love.

The Bronx also wasn't quite as good as last time, again due to the last venue being tiny and this one being a bit bigger. The opening of Heart Attack American last time was so good - "You know what to do. I want the drinkers to drink, the moshers to moshers and the stage divers to get the fuck up!" But they play Six Days A Week this time.

Look, El Bronx. And hear how good Matt Caughthran's voice is....

I thought screamo was dead, but then I heard Chiodos.

Yes, I am home on a Friday night but a Friday without her isn't a night to be out right now. Two more Fridays to savour. However, I may be in danger of being ostracized soon. See below.

I love YOU, but I'm not that keen on YOU at the moment.

I finally fucking finished The Count Of Monte Cristo. That's probably why I went out so much this week. Wait and Hope.

Couple of new blogs I like. One and two.

Thanks Mark for today. Quoting Dazed & Confused has never been so fun.

Spin has a question which is - What comes after Radiohead on your ipod? Although they changed it this month to what comes after The Shins on your ipod which isn't so accessible. A: Rage Against The Machine and The Shirelles respectively.

DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

2009-02-28T23:42:00.004Z

Let's get things straight here. It's not that bad. You have good days and bad days, but as I might have said earlier, the good days just aren't that interesting, and also it's a bit more difficult to protect the innocent on the good days as names get bandied around.

The bad days are so much easier to write about. Everyone loves a tortured artist. The Verve on drugs - brilliant. The Verve without drugs - bad. Radiohead full of angst - brilliant. Radiohead loving their children - rubbish. Ryan Adams fucked up on drugs and in a pit of heartbreak - wonderful. Ryan Adams sober - a bit dull (sorry). And it's all about venting; you have to get it out when you're upset. When you're happy you want to savour it and keep it for yourself.

Also if you tell people you're happy, they think you're smug. If you tell them you're depressed, there's a good chance they'll think you're edgy.

AND I CAN'T STOP SH SH SH SHAKING

2009-02-26T23:15:00.006Z

I don't know what I'm doing Part 2

What am I doing? How do I get out of this ridiculous mess? What does one do?

So far I've written, in that strange place where no one will see - and no not this site you cynical cow, a) what I will do when it all goes to seed, and b) why I am like this?

I honestly have no idea how to act. I know how I want to act but it's inappropriate and not acceptable because of the circumstances. I know what I want to say but as we've seen over the last few days it doesn't make anyone happy, and when it does it's only for a fleeting moment. But as I have said before, not to you but to you (not that you read this now we've moved on) that it's worth every second.

Lines that come to mind:

I wish you would
Come pick me up
Take me out
Fuck me up
Steal my records
Screw all my friends
Theyre all full of shit
With a smile on your face
And then do it again

And as he said "because it was so fucking worth it"

My life, up until this point and excuse me for not thinking about the starving Africans and the disabled children, has been a fucking chore. I think it was about 12 years ago that I realised I only needed one thing to make it all worthwhile. I haven't found that thing until now and it is now out of reach, not unlike the Holy Grail at the end of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. But maybe that's what it's like. It can give me everything, but only in that place. I can't take it out otherwise it will destroy everything.

I need to get Come All You Weary tattooed across my chest.

Too much harrowing and not enough screwball comedy.

CLOAK AND DAGGER

2009-02-22T18:36:00.003Z

What makes you stand out from the crowd? What gives you that edge over all the others? Do you want that edge?

I've got to apply for jobs and sell myself even though I don't think I'm very good yet. I'm no good at lying although it seems I've got to start doing it on a couple of things. So now I've got to start lying to a) further my career and b) protect myself. Let's look at these one by one.

a) I can't go all out lie and say I've done things I haven't but I can maybe embellish the truth a little by jazzing up my ordinary skills. I need to think hard about what I've done in order to fill out this form. But what have I done? Not fucking much.

b) I can go all out and lie because if I don't this whole thing could end. I think we both have the same feelings but it's difficult to show them in the current situation. And you, there's probably no need for you to look at this anymore because I can now say everything I want to you, but I'll still mention you because right now you are everything.

As JGW said the other day, quite harrowing and not enough comedy.

MY, WHAT A GOOD DAY FOR A WALK OUTSIDE

2009-02-21T09:37:00.001Z

It's a bit annoying that the lettering is inconsistent. Photoshop isn't everything it's cracked up to be. That's not a sneaky pun, it's a trial version.

I'M AN OG AND I BUST BACK

2009-02-21T00:27:00.010Z

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

This explains ggg something gg gggg ggg gg gg ggg. gg one gggggg this to happen, but g ggggggg gggggg can gggg g ggg ggg things. It may not be ggg ggg (and let's gggg gg ggg gggg gggg not) but let this be g gggggg gg ggg ggg gg gg gggggggg gggg. It was gggg ggg ggg gg ggg I'm not a ggggggggg man, but I would gggg gg gggg gg ggggg ggg gg gg work out well.

gg, gg gg gg alright. Life gggg gggg. gg gggg, gg hasn't even started.

Sincerely, little girl.

Night posting - never good.

WHERE'S THE MEDICATION I NEED?

2009-02-18T17:55:00.002Z

1. This woman on the radio right now really isn't funny. Virgin (Absolute) Radio is on with Geoff Lloyd. I don't really like this radio station as it's really for the man in the van. Geoff Lloyd sounds like Chris Evans so it keep confusing me when I get home. Anyway, everyday about the time I have a cup of tea (a good part of my day), this woman, who I'm sure is only there to read the travel but somehow got her own slot, talks about a song and dissects the lyrics to show that the song is meaningless. It could be a funny idea as I remember being obnoxious once and picking holes in a joke someone was telling, and that got a good reaction, but her delivery is so crap. And Geoff Lloyd, if that is his real name, insists on laughing. How he can do it I don't know. He must be threatened with the sack everyday and then after his show he has one of those moments where you call up in a ball in the shower with all your clothes on just rocking back and forth. And don't get me started on Christian O'Connell these days.

2. I am stuck with my brother-in-laws parents, listening them to attempting to look after the kids. I'm not the perfect babysitter, but they don't really know what they are doing. Which is odd considering they had two children of their own. Maybe I'm just bitter because I've had to sleep on the sofa bed in the dining room for the last 3 days with the inconsiderate cats and a buzzing computer.

I may have felt better if I'd seen someone today. But I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

WILL YOU CONFUSE MY LOVE FOR THE COBWEBS?

2009-02-16T14:06:00.004Z

That's not the lamp saying that. It's George.

IF YOU LOVE ME, WHY'D YOU LET ME GO?

2009-02-15T12:43:00.006Z

One should never post twice in one day, but I have to share Garfield Minus Garfield - the inner struggle of Jon Arbuckle in his futile existence.

By removing Garfield from Garfield, we see the root of Jon's problems as a lonely single man in a suburb of misery. Talking to his cat is not the answer, he is just hiding what we all know.

A particular favourite:

I've been thinking of doing something similar for a while to the George and Lynne comics.

IF YOU'D ONLY, IF YOU'D ONLY SAY YES

2009-02-15T12:06:00.003Z

Singles. Jesus, there's a reason you're single.

The first thing that comes to mind that discos when you don't know anyone are exactly the same as when you are 11, except there's alcohol involved. No one knows what to say to each other, so they get drunk and think what they are doing is flirting. To some people it might be flirting, but if you're going to tweak someone's ear follow it up with a hello at least, and if you're going to steal someone's hat, please give it back because I want to go home.

Anyway, let's just say that last night was pretty badly organised. The door staff were rude and the music was too non-descript. Where's the chart cheese? Play I Kissed A Girl, The Fear or Sex On Fire if you want people to start snogging.

But I didn't like it. You just got stared at. Lots of people looking around to see who they fancied but not doing anything about it. We felt the tension in the room was just going to burst out and any minute it would just descend into an orgy. I believe that was my first and last valentine's singles do. They don't work, certainly not for me. Romance can't be forced, that's what makes it romantic. The movies may lie to us, but they are just an idealogy of what happens. It doesn't happen with great cinematography, but it does happen. Well, I like to think so.

Not me of course, there's no reason I'm single.

BURN

2009-02-14T00:38:00.003Z

Over the last 5 weeks, posting has been complete therapy. What do you do when you've chosen a new profession and it's not filling you with the joy that you expected it to, and the old profession that you gave up because you only wanted it as a hobby but it's still a sort of profession is filling you with as little joy? Well I vent, and this is the outlet to do it in. Believe me this is not it. If you delved inside the special black book then you'd see the 'ugly' side, but most of that is about people who've spoken to me at a urinal (heathens) and films I've seen.

I will vent when I can,or when I need to. Or just when I'm at the computer and I don't feel like working. Now I'm back in popular culture I may vent on what is going on in Mad Men, Chelsea's current predicament, what will Quentin Tarantino's new film like and what will the new Green Day album sound like. Not that subversive, but no one wants to hear me wallowing in self pity about the girl who blah blah. Always keep your diary hidden from your mother.

Until the next vent.

SAY IT WITH VENNS

2009-02-10T21:52:00.004Z

Some Venn Diagrams I did. I should really have put more time into it. Click on them to make them bigger.

Venn Diagram showing Hats, Desmond's characters and Food

Venn Diagram showing Places I've Been To The Toilet, Places Bears Have Been To The Toilet and Scary Places

Venn Diagram showing how much I like you

SOMETHING SOFT

2009-02-09T19:29:00.007Z

As I come to the end of my stint at school, I'll have to say that it wasn't as successful as I had hoped. My story writing has improved no end having written 3 Sci Fi stories and about 4 made up news articles. Below is the fruit of my imagination (although I owe a lot to Back To The Future). Picture by me and Neato - click on it for a bigger one, go on it's really good.

P.S. Never write about time travel; there are just too many plot holes.

It was a lovely sunny Saturday so I decided to take a stroll to my scientist friend Dr Stump. I walked the long way so I could gaze over the city from the top of Trohman Hill. It was a wonderful sight to see all the modern buildings and I remarked to myself how well the city had advanced.

When I got to the Doc's house, he was busy at work on one of his many inventions. "What's that you're working on Doc?" I asked. "Oh hello there Mikey, I didn't see you come in. This is my most incredible invention yet." "Better than the talking toaster?" I asked, with a smirk on my face. The Doctor didn't get the joke and continued enthusiastically. "Oh much better, this is a time machine. It will be able to take you to any time in the history of Earth. The only problem is that it doesn't seem to be working". He continued to poke at it with a screwdriver. It was then that I noticed the problem. I bent down to pick up the plug which was attached to the base unit of the Doc's contraption. "It would help if you plugged it in Doc" I said as I pushed the plug into a nearby wall socket.

At that moment, everything seemed to stop. A brilliant white light flashed for what seemed like a lifetime. My body felt like it was pressing in on itself but I did not feel any pain. Then millions of colours sped before my eyes and before I knew it I was thrown into nothingness.

I opened my eyes to see the Doc looking back at me with the same startled look that I had. We both slowly turned around to see vast green fields all around us and rugged hills in the distance. There was no sound, just this ominous silence. "Where are we?" I asked. "Not where, but when," replied the Doc. "We've travelled back in time to the year 125 million BC." "I'm not sure I like it here. This land looks very unforgiving." It was then we heard a rumbling sound and an almighty roar. We turned and saw a rampaging dinosaur hurtling towards us. "Run!" screamed the Doc. We started running as fast as we could. The bloodthirsty dinosaur was getting closer. In the corner of my eye I saw an opening in a hill. "Quick," I shouted. "Into that cave." We changed direction and rushed into the cave. We were just in time. We ran in easily, but the massive dinosaur could not fit in and smashed its head on the top of the opening. He crashed to the ground dead. "That was lucky. Now let's go home."

When we got back to the time machine, the Doc set the co-ordinates for present day; the same bright lights flashed in front of us and soon we were away from the time of dinosaurs. We jumped back to the Doc's laboratory. "I think I need a lie down after that," said the Doc. I walked home, again via Trohman Hill. I wanted to look over the city I loved. When I go to the top, the city was not as I remembered. There were no modern buildings, in fact there were hardly any buildings at all and any that were there were dilapidated and falling down. People were running riot and the whole city seemed to be a war zone, a rotting piece of meat. I needed to see the Doc. On the way back, he pulled up beside me in his car, the time machine in the back. "Where are we now?" I asked. "The same place we've always been but a completely different present day. That dinosaur dying has caused a series of events that have completely changed the course of history," the Doc replied. "I can't live here, I want my old city back." The Doc thought hard. "There's one thing we can do," he said. "We need to go back and make sure that dinosaur doesn't die. Then everything should return to normal. We'll need something soft."

I wasn't sure what he meant by the last thing he said but it wasn't hard to find what he wanted. The streets were so run down and chaotic that every house had a rubbish heap outside it. We found an old mattress and held on tight to it as the Doc punched in the co-ordinates. Again, the bright white light flashed and we were standing in the fields surrounded by hills. In the distance we could see ourselves next to the time machine. Then we saw the dinosaur coming at us, I mean them. We turned again and saw that we were quite near the cave. "Quick, bring the mattress," cried the Doc. We go to the cave and quickly attached the mattress to the top of the opening. We hid behind the cave just as our other selves ran in and the dinosaur hit his head. Again, the dinosaur fell to the floor, but after a short while it stood up and shook its head and ran off towards the hills. We stayed hiding as we saw our other selves run back to their time machine and disappear. "I think we've done it," exclaimed the Doc. 'Let's go home." "I hope it's home," I whispered under my breath.

We moved the time machine so we would arrive back in the laboratory. The white light flashed and we were back in the laboratory and everything seemed normal. I looked out the window and the streets were clean and people were smiling. "Is this home?" I asked. The Doc nodded back, a small smile on his face. I walked over the the wall and pulled out the plug from the socket. "I don't want that going off again!"

AND YOUR RED SKY AT NIGHT WON'T FOLLOW ME

2009-02-08T16:04:00.004Z

When I ever get round to writing my film, I know how it ends. I have no idea what it's about but I know how it ends. It's probably got some gritty Shane Meadows/Irvine Welsh thing going on from this ending.

For some reason, the main protagonist is packing a suitcase. Very systematically but with emotion. It's a suitcase like an old style valise; a proper suitcase, probably handed down through a couple of generations. I'm not sure if the person is a man or a woman, but I think they are quite young, early 20s. It is in black and white. The person is leaving because they have been stuck in this life without joy for a good few years. Either it's a bad marriage, or there's an abusive parent, or the person just doesn't fit in. I think that throughout the film the person has been threatening to leave but never quite has the courage to do so. Actually now I think of it this is probably similar to the end of Somers Town, but I haven't seen that yet.

Anyway, the person is packing and Cold Days From The Birdhouse by The Twilight Sad is playing. The person is emotional but not crying. It is strength that is showing. We see the person leave through the front door and walk down the street. The camera is stationary. The person walks away and turns left and out of shot just as we get to 2:30 in the song and the guitars kick in. The camera stays on the road for another minute. Then the screen fades to black and the credits roll. Everyone feels for the person and the courage it took just to walk away. Everyone stands up, applauds and I win a BAFTA.

LET'S GROW OLD TOGETHER

2009-02-05T20:33:00.006Z

I was asked today what I really liked doing, among other things. I said listening to music and playing football. I really do like listening to music. I'm actually listening to music right now, hence the title of this missive. I like music, football, friends, family, reading and film. I'm also a little into pop culture and art but not enough to talk about it with any confidence, but let's not get started on confidence again.

So here's another small dip into the world of my iPod. I initially wanted my iPod to be Hughesie FM, playing only the best cuts from my record collection. As time has gone on, I find it more difficult to find time to sit down and listen to albums. In the good old days, I got an album and listened to it religiously for a week, and then onto the next one, now I get 5 or 6 at a time. Occasionally, I get an album I've been after for ages (and I haven't nabbed it from the interweb) and I give it a really good listen. The last of these was the recent Fall Out Boy and Snow Patrol. Again not very fashionable, but before that it was The Bronx and Wintersleep, so fuck you. So what I do now is stick full albums on the pod, listen on album shuffle and then systematically take tracks off that don't grab me. I'm obviously not giving these songs as much time as I would have done in times gone by, but these songs need to prove their worth. They're sharing the stage with Postcards From Italy, Little Arithmetics, 1979, Lateralus, Eleanor Rigby and Born To Be Wild.

So here we go, song shuffle, press play, no skipping and let's look at 5 of the 9427 on there.

1. Oasis - My Sister Lover

Ah the halcyon days of Oasis. Yes, even in the Be Here Now era they were putting out singles which had B-sides worthy of inclusion on an album. This one, from the Stand By Me single (their worst single in my opinion) isn't the best B-side though, and it's probably more likely on the pod because I decided to sell my post What's the Story singles on ebay. And I got a tidy sum too. I think I sold them for £10 for 6 to a guy in Argentina, so I got work to pay for the £12 postage. This song is a stomper, much like the new album, and sung by Liam, which is rare for a B-side. Many people will say that The Masterplan was the best B-side was either Stay Young or Underneath The Sky. But listening to it now, it's pretty good.

2. A Camp - Love Has Left The Room

Case in point. I added the A Camp (her from the Cardigans) album just the other day. I've already taken off two songs that I heard on the tube this week but I think I'll keep this one. I wouldn't normally have added this album but I remember liking I Can Buy You. Wasn't there a rumour that Nina Persson was gay? Or did my friends just make it up? Well it turns out she isn't. I did enjoy the My Favourite Game video. Jonas Akerlund promised so much from his music videos, and then he made Spun, which was rubbish apart from the Zwan cover of Number Of The Beast.

3. A - If It Ain't Broke, Fix It Anyway

This reminds me of house sitting my sister's place when they went to Mexico about 7 years ago. I listened to this album, Tom McRae and the first Slipknot album that week. My brother-in-law was good friends with A, doing their website and being thanked in all the albums. Unfortunately A went the way of all quite good British rock bands, and that's down. They plugged at it over 4 albums but never really got anywhere, getting larger and having children along the way. Jason and Dan wrote a McFly album though. I also remember holding hands with Jason Perry at a party of my sister's while we soft rocked it out to REO Speedwagon's 'I Just Want To Keep On Loving You'.

4. Dear & The Headlights - Sweet Talk

An album bought on the strength of Run In The Front, which is truly majestic. The rest of the album really doesn't match up to the heights of that song. Sweet Talk had a video and the singer wears a nice jacket in it, but it's not the best song. I almost felt I needed to justify buying the album by putting on more songs from it, whereas in reality the best song is the one I got from the website. There may be another album out now but I haven't investigated. And finally....

5. The Turtles - Happy Together

Now this is just all about Dylan's wedding. For some reason Benny, Reilly, Macca and I would break into this for no reason. Looking back it's quite heart warming that 4 grown men would sing about being happy together when we were sharing sofa beds in what was quite frankly the hottest house in the world. I also remember Weezer covering it live and I thought it was a Beach Boys song.

IT'S IN YOUR EYES

2009-02-04T20:14:00.008Z

For someone who's meant to be run off his feet, I'm writing here far too much. Sometimes I don't even have an idea of what I'm going to write, or I think of one word and then go off on some tangent.

So I am run off my feet. The snow meant that I had some respite and I could actually relax. So yesterday I read (still reading The Count Of Monte Cristo - at the current rate I'll be done by mid March. It's the longest book I've ever read and some chapters are really quite cumbersome as you don't know why you need to know this. Believe me the next book will be a breeze) and watched a film (it was The Orphanage). Last year I watched 68 films that I hadn't seen before. So far this year I've seen 3.

This really is rather a dull post. The problem is I had a relatively good day. When I have a bad day I can talk about my insecurities, my pathetic love life, my low confidence and my inability to find the one special thing that everyone should have. When I have a good day I have little to say. Is that because I think that art goes hand in hand with misery? Perhaps.

I always wanted to be one of those tortured artists who felt so much guilt and pain, but I never had a problem getting to sleep. At this moment in time I do have problems sleeping. So I cleared that one up. All I need to do now is write a bleak album and have a nervous breakdown. Oh wait I think I did one of those the other week.

And I say relatively good day. No one told me they loved me, or vice versa, I didn't discover a new band, I didn't buy that one great pair of shoes and I didn't have anyone stare at me in a 'I find you attractive' way. A good day doesn't really exist. It's too long. Let us live for moments. That way we're more likely to experience them.

Having a good moment and nothing else would constitute a good day. It's that moment which we'll remember the most.

(I was wrong, Alfie said he loved me - that'll do for today)

THREE DAY WEEK

2009-02-03T16:47:00.002Z

Letterman performances are usually ok. The Bon Iver one recently showed how Skinny Love is done live but didn't really show it all, and Ryan is usually pretty good. The Gaslight Anthem on the other hand were great. This is a great Letterman performance. Dave is usually very grateful to all his musical guests but I feel he meant it at the end of this one.

GET IT MORE LOUDER

2009-02-02T18:46:00.003Z

Sorry for the profanity, but I fucking love Edward Hopper.

Every picture he's painted has this romantic sense of loneliness. The woman in her hat in the coffee shop in in Automat; the man thinking about his life with a semi-clad woman lying next to him with a book open in Excursion Into Philosophy; the woman reading the note in Hotel Room. Even in the ones where there are two people you can tell that things aren't right. There's an overwhelming sense of boredom and monotony in Chop Suey, Summer Evening and even Nighthawks. Much has been written about Nighthawks. I love it obviously, but there's deeper meaning in other paintings.

Take Excursion In Philosophy. Whose house is it? Is it either of their houses? Has he just slept with a prostitute and is now wracked with guilt, with her on the other hand oblivious as it's all in a days work? Has he just read an amazing passage in the book which is making him question his life? Even on a summer's day with a beautiful woman next to him, he is not happy. His life has not turned out how he wanted it to. He is about to leave before she wakes up. He has dressed, open the windows and read from his book all before she wakes. The feeling you have after a one night stand is not dissimilar. If only I had had a book with me.

The overall feeling I get from Hopper is that no matter who is in the pictures, you feel their solitude and you want to take them away from the hurt; show them something different and better. But can you? After all, your different and better could just be another exercise in loneliness for these characters.

SNOW FALLING ON TARMAC

2009-02-01T21:17:00.005Z

Attraction

In general, an attraction draws one object towards another one. So says wikipedia.

Attraction leads to friendships and romantic relationships. Attraction is very difficult to combat. Let's face it, you can't help who you are attracted to. In fact, it can be the bane of your life. Not that I'm saying I have an uncontrollable attraction to bald women or animals.

Talking to a friend, we were discussing our current attractions. His was between three, mine is one and one only. I told him that he couldn't decide who to pursue, it will tell him. Mine on the other hand is equally as difficult but completely different.

Of course you get attracted to a number of people, but it's the ones who are close to you that make the difference. I mean, I'm attracted to Cat Power and Joan Holloway, but that can never happen; one is the pseudonym of an american singer and the other is a fictional character.

And how can you measure the attraction. In an ideal world you could have some sort of barometer which could tell you whether the person worth thinking about every single day. At the moment I think it is, but only time will tell. There's a lot of waiting to be done.

I hope I can photo her with my Polaroid before the film disintegrates.

ABRASIONS MOUNT THE TIMPANI

2009-01-30T19:50:00.005Z

Confidence. Certainly not the habitual voyeur of what is known as.

Jesus Christ, you'd think that after 30 years, ok 15 years, I might have actually developed some. Let's put this straight; unless it's about a certain song or band, I have no confidence in what I'm saying. Actually, there was a point at a wedding recently where someone asked me what my passion was. I said music and started talking about it, only to get this realisation that everyone was actually listening to me and I felt very self conscious and didn't like it.

So I have little to no self confidence. It took me 29 years to work out who I was, and then I went and changed everything. It took me 29 years to be comfortable with who I was and what I'd become and then I go and throw myself onto a bed of nails. Some people would say that that is commendable. I say it's pretty foolish. Aren't we all looking for the easy life; something I asked the great Josh Rouse once. Well, I asked him if he was just looking for the easy life and his reply was "Aren't we all?" He is right. But we can't be bored, otherwise we might aswell end our life straight away, because life won't get any more interesting.

At moments when I'm feeling very, how can I say this, tested, I have to remind myself where I was before. In the same job for almost 8 years surrounded by no one I cared for, let alone liked, out of my one and only (failed) relationship having gone nowhere for the last 5 years except into my own place, which is now riddled with damp (an overstatement). So I had to change, I had to.

But when you throw yourself into something incredibly difficult then the confidence is bound to diminish. I may have little self-confidence, but quite frankly I'd really dislike myself if I did.

If only I could live my life two pints pissed. But then I'd be an alcoholic.

Currently:

Listening to Mars Volta

Losing weight

Marking Sci-Fi stories

And look - the trailer for The Damned United. I'm so excited I'm posting before I've even seen it.

MIDNIGHT AT THE STARLITE DINER

2009-01-27T18:37:00.004Z

Time.

What have people said about time?

"There is never enough time, unless you're serving it." Malcolm Forbes

"The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say." David Gilmour

"Where did the good times go?" Richard Ashcroft

"Where have all the good times gone?" Ray Davies

"All those things that never came to be, they are just a whisper in time." Greg Graffin

But none of that really helps.

There was a time (ha ha ha) when I had too much time. Bored out of my tiny little mind. Only filling this time with trivial pursuits. This was not the life for me. So I changed. There was less and less time. Now there is no time. Time only for eating and sleeping, well that was last night. Obviously there's time enough tonight to write this, but there shouldn't be. Well there isn't, so I'll have less time sleeping.

At this point, when all your time is being used up and you're not having much fun, you have to ask yourself "is it worth it?" At this moment in time, I have to say "I don't know." There's only way to find out and that is to spend the time finding out.

According to this I only have 26 years left anyway.

A SONG TO SING WHEN I'M LONELY

2009-01-24T15:32:00.003Z

A quick look at tomorrow's papers:

Useless Superhero powers - click (turned on by FireWire)

Most ridiculous Metal album covers - click (I own one of these)

Most awesome Metal album covers - click (I own two of these) - note the album that appears in both lists

Minimalist poster designs - click

Frusciante has a new album out.

There seems to be a similarity between Frusciante, Gallo and the new Phoenix.

Amusing Puscifer promo video - click

Nice Watchmen video - click

I am currently:

taking Nytol

fretting

eating fizzy cola bottles

I'M ABOUT TO HAVE NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

2009-01-23T22:53:00.003Z

Thank god it's not just me.

I remember when I went to New York for the first (actually third but first time on a stand alone trip) and Gail and I were up for 28 hours, with maybe a 2 hour sleep somewhere along the line, just to be at the bar for Ryan Adams' birthday. Was it worth it? A different story all together. But I remember the day after. I had delusions, I felt as low as possible and it was horrible. Gail then told me about serotonin and the other one. It all made sense. I was feeling that way due to lack of sleep.

Then came yesterday. All down to lack of sleep. But it's hard to sleep when you keep waking up every two hours thinking about what you're going to say. But of course the kids don't think about that. Why should they? I certainly never did.

Let us forget about yesterday, or rather use it on how not to live a week. That is why I have taken a Nytol and not set the alarm.

GIVE ME MY WINGS

2009-01-18T19:28:00.003Z

I really don't know what I'm doing. But do any of us?

I'm retraining to be a primary teacher and let me tell you it's hard as hell. People have said "oh yeah, this and your NQT year are the hardest". I thought it was because you hadn't really developed the skills but it seems to be that a) you have to write all your lessons from scratch (I've written 5 short Sci-Fi stories this week alone) and b) I really don't know what I'm doing. I've been spoon fed some plans but I just don't know if it's right or not. I don't know if I talk to the children in the right way and I don't know if I'm saying the right thing to get the right answers. I don't know if they've actually learned anything that day.

I really don't know what I'm doing when I play football. I play in goal and I just do what I think is right to stop goals going in but I don't know what I'm doing.

I really don't know what I'm doing when it comes to the opposite sex. One proper girlfriend in 30 years of life speaks for itself. I don't know what attracts women. I don't know what is my attractive quality. I don't know the right thing to say. I don't know how to sustain an attraction with a certain female at the moment. I don't know what is too much or what is too little.

And you don't know anything either. You only know what you've been told or if something isn't right because it didn't work. Even if you're an expert in a certain field you only know what someone else told you, or what you read in a book.

I really don't know what I'm doing.

VOUS NE SAVEZ PAS JE T'AIME

2009-01-13T21:47:00.004Z

There's not much to say today, so here's Serge Gainsbourg looking cool.

I CAN STILL HEAR YOU LAUGHING

2009-01-12T22:13:00.005Z

What do you mean you're bored? There's free music out there (legit free too) and you're reading this? What are you doing? In fact what am I doing? There's lessons to plan and I'm pointing music out to no one.

Anyway, Nine Inch Nails' The Slip is still free, I think, so go and get it. It isn't vintage NIN but it rocks here and there.

Do the registration thing here

Also, a young band called Community Gun are giving music away. Mr Rollogrady mentioned this one first. He's got more time than me.

But get Community Gun - click on Audio at the top to get to the download bit.

The Fall Out Boy album is great. It's pop music with a message, although I'm not sure what that message is. My favourite lyric is:

"I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me"

Ever felt like that?

THERE'S BLOOD IN MY MOUTH

2009-01-11T16:49:00.007Z

Having been to a load of new blogs to look at their Best Of '08 lists, I looked at the album covers of all these artists I've never heard of (but the music is great) and all I could think of was this (apologies for self linking, how big is my ego?!).

But you can see what I mean. From the covers below, you wouldn't know which ones were real and which were made up.