Monday, March 26, 2007


I get a bit annoyed when people on a group email send one back saying "please stop pressing Reply All, I'm very busy". What do you do that's so important that you can't read a few emails that might be funny? If you stopped to read them would the world stop turning? For heaven's sake, you're not Alan Jackson. I don't mean the large black man who was in Eastenders. Alan Jackson is a Country singer who wrote a song about 9/11 called 'Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?' But that doesn't really make sense to the previous point.

There are two types of Country star: the hats and the no-hats. One stalwart of the hat is Tim McGraw. The hats don't write their own songs but they do wear hats. The biggest no hat is Keith Urban. You may chuckle that his name is Urban and he is a Country singer. Well it's his name. He is Australian (or from New Zealand) so he probably didn't think he would be a Country singer. Yes, it's ironic, but he's big in Southern United States where there is no irony.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


I've discovered a problem involving me and fruit.

I like fruit. It is tasty and natural and good for you. However as I go out a bit, I find it hard to eat all the fruit I buy before it goes off. Also, half the fruit in the crappy Somerfield in Brentford is quite frankly rubbish. I was a satsuma man for a while, or what I conceived to be satsumas. Sometimes they were clementines, mandarins or tangerines. I have no idea which are small, which are easy to peel, which are sour and which are sweet so I invariably buy the wrong sort, get pissed off with them, and throw them away before I finish them. Or when I buy them from Somerfield (nickname needed, perhaps Scummerfield - Jesus, you should go there on a Saturday afternoon, my shopping time. It's a mentalists day out. And for some reason, careworkers seem to think that people with Down's Syndrome want to go to the supermarket on the weekend. I'd prefer to go to the park myself) they are usually half alright half rotten.

So I switched from satsumas (or whatever they are) to apples. And here lies my problem. I have some sort of allergic reaction to fruit of which you can eat the skin. It started with the nectarines and peaches I bought outside Clerkenwell station. And the strange thing is the reaction is akin to my symptoms of hayfever. I get itchy eyes and a runny nose.

The solution would be to wash the fruit, but I've done this and sometimes whatever is on the skin (or just the skin itself) still has the same effect, not all the time, but washing is certainly not fool proof. So it now seems that the only fruit I can eat with any confidence is the banana, and there's no fun in just eating one type of fruit. Maybe if I cut and peeled all fruit like my mother used to do when I was 5, but I will be ridiculed.

I need to learn about orange fruit a bit more.