Tuesday, May 27, 2008


1 whistle = you stop talking
2 whistles = you assume the position of your soldier
3 whistles = you hit the deck

A fun idea? I suppose, but not when you're being told safety instructions about going on a boat. Not when you're in a nice pub at lunchtime in Lymington. Not when you're in a busy curry house on Saturday night in the most stag and hen infested town I have ever been to.

What with my upbringing, education, friends I have surrounded my self with and general all round snobbiness, I never thought I would have to go to a stag weekend like that. Everything I have strived for was washed away by being in the Walkabout in Bournemouth. I hope it's the last one.

Not to say there weren't laughs. Piz Wai, Dirty Dancing, Meduri, Oliver Reed. But I'm not a fan of whistles, sunburn, outfits and funnels.

The irony being I was more drunker and stayed up later in Sofia but had a much better time. Take note: don't force me to drink. I'll do it anyway, so don't force me.

Here's looking forward to the third weekend.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Dear Sofia,

Don't run before you can walk. We had a great time together but I don't think you're ready. Take it back a step. You think you're ready but you've tried too hard too soon. You're like a 15 year old who fancies the 20 year old, wearing too much make up. We don't want wall to wall pizzerias in Bulgaria, nor do we want the 'super club' which is empty. We want some traditional restaurants and some bars with dancefloors. We want 80s, 90s or rock music, not ear-bleeding faceless techno.

That said, I loved my time with you but you have some growing up to do.

All the best


PS That could could of course be exactly what you want, so sorry if it is, but the clubs were pretty empty.