Moving house is like taking all your stuff from one place, and putting them somewhere else where you now live.
2 out of 3 done, now there is only one more trial to do before the end of the year. It's proving the most difficult.
Life is a little like the Krypton Factor. There's general knowledge, observation, physical assult courses and landing a plane. The only difference is that Tony Slattery doesn't appear all the time when I'm observing things.
Now my camera is running out of batteries and the charger is in a box somewhere in a hole in a building in Hanwell. Not that it really matters, I'm still too scared to take it to gigs in case a burly bouncer has an issue with it.
Gigs I didn't take my camera to: Hard-Fi, Sigur Ros, Johnathan Rice, My Chemical Romance.
Gigs I won't take my camera to due to low battery: Nada Surf, Alkaline Trio, Elbow and whatever else I'll go to before I move (which is close too).
I need a haircut but I'm too scared.
Football you ask? Well on a windy wet afternoon in Northolt we crushed some tigers 9-0. Ha ha. 'We'd thrash them on a decent surface' we heard them murmur. It's a pity they booked the fucking pitch in the arse end of nowhere then.
Ok, the posts have been a bit slack of late. Where did we get to beforehand? I think the season was going well. Then we had to change the goalkeeper for a game on hard astroturf (old style turf with sand not the new stuff with little rubber bits). The oppositions resident no toothed nutter got sent off and we won 3-1 (I think). Goalscorers pass me by.
Because the goalkeeper, apparently, played so well, he was allowed (allowed? I didn't want to play in goal) to keep his place. We had a nightmare and lost 4-1.
The next game I didn't play as I injured my back somehow. So I sat it out and we lost 4-2. Team to be posted when I can be bothered.
The dressing room was a sorry place to be. Heads were low and there was talk of extra training. This will not materialise.
Currently I am lodging so I can't get the pictures off my camera. But believe me, when I do you will see remarkable photos of the many rock and pop concerts I go to like this:
Cup game. One a piece. Again we went one up. A glorious finish by the Wemyss Junior. Only to concede a debatable free kick (aren't they all) 10 minutes later. Their player ghosted in at the back post to equalise. It was the equaliser. It was Edward Woodward.
Anger has come over me. I cannot explain and I will not. But the fact of the matter is I was hoping for some time off in December, a lot of time off, and now I have to take half of that in November.
The win was sweet, the style was shambolic, the goals were good. Goals from Kings Of Leon, Kaiser and a late winner from Gavin gave us a much needed win. We showed great character to come back from being equalised twice, once from a howler from the gaffer and another from a dubious onside decision.
Third game of the season, and what are the chances of having three actual football results rather than crazy schoolboy scores. Well this one was 0-0. Another good performance by the defence (unlike the friendlies) and too few shots on target again. To be fair Kings Of Leon had an excellent shot saved by the comedy terrorist but deserved to be booked for his Klinsmannesque acrobatics in the box. Talking of Klinsmann, the Kaiser's goal celebrations were a tad premature as his goal was ruled out for offside. Much huffing and protest ensued, but the referee's decision is final. What's missing is some ruthlessness in front of goal.
Anyway - team:
What other news you cry? None.
Disappointing albums #1. Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So blah blah blah
Bored of being homeless. Bored of looking at flats. Even more bored of estate agents. Are they all complete nobs? The one on Saturday turned up 15 minutes late, having not prepared because he didn't have a load of keys, with his regulation mid 20s estate agent haircut and driving an H-reg Porsche. Not a good look.
The posts here have gone from the mindless ramblings I had hoped to bring the immortal few who would come here, to actual real life stories. For that I can only apologise. House difficulties have arisen over the last few weeks, from being one day away from signing papers to having to start all over again after pullingout myself of buying this place. Of course I am bitter. The seller is an absolute arse and the place he was selling was a complete shithole. I will buy a better flat with monkey butlers and a fireman's pole down the middle. A young Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd will be my neighbours and we will have hilarious adventures.
Second game on Sunday. A glorious 3-1 win. Again only 11 men as the Bernies were at Reeksy's wedding. Team was:
This is the start of a good season, perhaps. No whining, team playing together as one. Good goals. Hurrah.
The last of the friendlies was last night. Of course we won 7-5, a disastrous defending first half with mid field and defence at sixes and sevens with the long ball. The team for last night was as follows:
We wore the black kits for the first time since their airing in Bratislava. Looking like vicars, we strode out onto the hallowed plastic turf.
Previous unreported friendlies were a 4-4 draw and a 5-1 victory. First game on Sunday. What will the team be? Only the gaffer knows, and even he'll leave it until the last minute.
The turnout is expected to be high. Many players now have wives and some actually have friends. Many questions will also be asked. Will Bernie turn up mashed? Will Andy have cut The Cock? Does Paul have a thing for Brazilian boys? Find out next week.
Lo and behold, two Steve Guttenberg film os UK terrestrial television yesterday. The sublime Cocoon, which we can now see is more of an ensemble cast rather than a Guttenberg vehicle, and Police Academy, a breathtaking piece of cinema.
Hopefully this prophecy will continue, so therefore over the coming weeks we will be looking at the movies of Chevy Chase and the death of John Candy.
Chevy Chase was always destined to descend, as he set himself such high standards.
The first football game of the season, a friendly, yesterday resulted in a triumphant win. The score was either 7-0 or 8-0. Kaiser scored a remarkable 6, and the gaffer went upfront in the last ten to score a poacher's goal.
Police Academy - 1984 Police Acedemy 2 - 1985 (Quick turnaround or early franchise realisation) Cocoon - 1985 Police Academy 3 - 1986 Short Circuit - 1986 (No. 1 Box office draw by this time) Police Academy 4 - 1987 (And to think you had to wait 3 years between Star Wars films) Three Men And A Baby - 1987 (This man is prolific) High Spirits - 1988 Cocoon: The Return - 1988 Three Men & A Little Lady - 1990
And then nothing until 1995 where Guttenberg had a string of bad reviews and no leads to remember.
How can one man fly so high for that 6 year period but then fall from grace with such velocity. It wasn't even as if Three Men & A Little Lady was a bad film.
This just in. There was a third K-9 film: K-9:P.I. IMDB calls this film 'Truly funny' and the plot reads as 'Dooley and his K-9 partner Jerry Lee are ready to retire from the police force. But before he can retire with his pension he must work as a P.I. to find a set of high tech computer chips.' To be honest, it sounds awesome and whould be view immediately.
In other news, Cricket fever is sweeping the nation. The Department of Names (DoN) has reported a 400% rise in boys called Freddie and an unprecedented 2000% rise in girls being named Benaud.
K-911 is the best name for a sequel ever. It's genius, because it works on two levels, or even three.
For starters K-9 is pronounced the same as canine, which basically means dog. K-9 also sounds like a police call, as the film is about a police dog. If it is actually a police call then it's not as clever as previously thought.
But the name of the sequel is sublime. For starters it still has the original title of K-9 in the sequel title. Secondly, 911 is the phone number to call for the police in America, where the film is set. Thirdly, and this is the best bit, lots of sequels use roman numerals to number their films e.g Rocky IV, Star Wars Episode V, Police Academy XXVII, so K-911 can easily be seen as K-9 II, rather than K-9 2, which doesn't have the same ring to it.
K-911 = genius. If anyone has actually seen the film, please leave a review. James Belushi lost it after Curly Sue.
Being able to breakdance would be fun. Being able to Skateboard would turn heads. To be able to play the drums to Moby Dick would be good too. But if these are too much, settle for knowing all the lines to Fletch.