Wednesday, May 27, 2009


An interview with myself (how self indulgent)

Me: How are you today?
You: I feel alright today. I quite like it when the weather is bad as it justifies me not leaving the house. I have to work and I have the day all planned out and it probably only involves leaving the house once. It's nice not having any people under the age of ten around, but there are short moments when I get a bit lonely, but you just fill that with work or entertainment.

Me: You make a point of talking about loneliness but you make a conscious decision not to go out at certain points. Why is that?
You: Well for a start, I do have a lot of work to do. I have to work hard if I want to get the job I want. It may be half term but it hasn't meant I'm free and easy. I'm used to living on my own so this is a period where I can actually do the things I want to, watch the TV I want to etc. I think if I did live on my own, which I will do soon, I will go out more. But of course the drinking will have to be curbed as the hangovers are getting much worse these days. 

Me: What do you like to drink?
You: When I'm out it's cider, preferably Strongbow. If I'm in it's red wine. I can and will drink white wine and lager but it's second choice. The problem is that I find it so tasty, red wine in particular. You are meant to enjoy it all in moderation but that's where the difficulty lies. If I was able to I'd only eat chocolate and crisps, or roast lamb, but it's just not possible.

Me: What would be the perfect meal then?
You: I think a roast lamb with the trimmings so to speak. The one I had at New Year's last year came pretty close to the mark.

Me: Speaking of favourites, let's do a few quick fire questions.
You: Ok

Me: Try not to think about it, just answer the first thing that comes into your head. Favourite film?
You: I watched Garden State again last night and it had the same effect on me as the first time I saw it, maybe even more so. But maybe I'm only saying that as it's so fresh in my mind. Spinal Tap or Fletch too.

Me: What makes the comedies so much longer lasting?
You: It isn't the films themselves, it's the quoting afterwards. The funniest time I watched Anchorman was with 4 friends. It took us about 2 hours to watch a 90 minute film because we were rewinding it so much.

Me: Favourite band/artist?
You: Ryan Adams. There's bits I'm not keen on but he's someone who really captured my imagination. Tool are a close second but there's only a small amount to draw from.

Me: What's your favourite Ryan Adams song then?
You: A very difficult question. A favourite moment was Crossed Out Name the last time I saw him live. I love I See Monsters and When The Stars Go Blue but the best song is probably Jacksonville Skyline.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


By my absence you can work out it that it currently isn't awful. In fact it's pretty damn good.

The buoyancy of my current mood is encapsulated by the fact that I will now write a list of the things I currently love.

Playing the ukulele
The new Green Day (sorry, I'm mainstream)
The Arctic Monkeys new look
The Wire season 2
Not hating school
The end to the Premier League season
Not being infatuated with someone I can't have

I'm sure rants will come soon. But not now. Again, let us bask in the good things for a short time.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


School starts tomorrow. If it's the same as last time it will be 8 weeks of pain with a breakdown or two in there. I'm hoping it's not going to be like last time. So far it has been better.

I should be meticulously planning for the next week with 4 lessons to teach this week (as opposed the usual 14 I'll be doing normally) but as I'm doing nothing tomorrow, I've done very little so far.

After yesterday, I've re-ignited my crush on the uke. 5 chords learned and getting better by the day. I thank my practice partner and hope for many more to come.

Also, if school this time is anything like last time then posting will be at a maximum. 

British things that should be law:
- Tea at 4 on the dot, without fail. (This will be undoubtedly be included on why life should be like the 50s post I'm working on)
- Everyone should own a tweed jacket and a pair of brogues.
- Saying good morning to strangers if you are up early at the weekend and the street isn't that busy.
- Old men going for a half of mild either just before or just after the Sunday roast.
- Diplomacy (either that or saying exactly what you mean).
- All but one football match at 3pm on a Saturday.
- Summer slacks.
- A local butcher and baker.
- Getting a man in.
- A tabloid and a broadsheet on Sunday.

British things that should be outlawed
- Greggs the baker.
- Swearing in public.
- Most football supporters.
- The Enemy, The Courteeners and any other working class band who is trying to say that it's terrible up north (1. it's not 1960, and 2. The Beatles, who you're trying to be, sang about love)
- Hello magazine.

Thursday, May 07, 2009


Lyle Lovett must be shitting himself.

Monday, May 04, 2009


Sometimes I think, can I just get someone to tell me what to do? Can I go online and get the cheat code for life? There's levels and end of level bosses I just can't get past in this life, but the walkthrough says that it's not impossible. It's all possible because I know what the controls are.

I'd love to have the cheat code for certain things in this life; the job interviews I have coming up (which aren't your average job interviews); how to act around the women you like; when and how to contact them. But I suppose the outcome won't result in any satisfaction. If the girls think you're texts are needy then they aren't for you and the interviews are only an hour of your life (plus all the preparation).

That is of course if the game you're playing ends up with the happy ending and the end credits. You could be playing a knock off and in that case it's best to cheat and buy a new game as quickly as possible. 

Friday, May 01, 2009



a) go into a pub with a flat roof
b) text someone when you want a reply
c) be friends with someone who describes themselves as mad (unless you work in a mental hospital, because it's likely they might be a god of some kind)
d) buy a book that is advertised on the tube (typical tagline - 'They thought it would never happen...')
e) take sartorial advice from a man with a single vented jacket
f) fall in love with someone you shouldn't
g) spend more than 24 hours without speaking to someone
h) take sweets from strangers
i) go back in time